"You've got to be kidding me" moment - about 10 a week with Dad now

[p123]

I'd laugh if it wasnt such a pain. Hes getting worse every week, Its some drama or some stupid idea in his head... Always involved me having to do something.

So far this week I've had:-

1. Trying to tell me hes do depressed and he can't sleep and hes need sometimes to be there. I was concerned for a minute until he admitted the reason. His scooter (which he never uses) might need a new battery. They're £150. Yeh bit of a bummer. I lost it - told him old people who couldn't afford food or heating had this as a reason to be depressed, being so tight fisted you when you've got £40K in the bank that you don't want to spend doesnt count.

2. My daughers birthday this week. Shes 8. I had to remind him. Hes not keen on my kids. "Oh get me a card and put £20 in there from me". WOW..... Thanks she'll treasure that the rest of her life.

3. This is a classic this one. Its my 25th wedding anniversary tuesday. YAY! Now we're not doing anything but I'd rather not spend the evening trekking over to see him. Wife is working other evenings. So I said "only night I can make is wednesday but it'll be 830 earliest". Response, "Oh thats no good I'd like you come earlier what about tuesday?" "No its my 25th wedding anniversary".

His advice "oh dont worry about all that she'll get over it". WOW again. I know now why my one marriage lasted twice as long as both of his stuck together!

Sorry for the rant but this is a weekly occurence now.

[Boat Babe]

She'll get over it. Dear God!

[moglow]

Okay repeat after mo- Not.my.stuff. He's a grown man, a parent and grandparent and I neither have to explain myself nor run his calendar for him. None of this is new and next time I talk to him it'll likely be more of the same. I refuse to stress over it - my family needs me!

You're welcome.

[Cat of the Canals]

His advice "oh dont worry about all that she'll get over it". WOW again. I know now why my one marriage lasted twice as long as both of his stuck together!

Woof. And I'm guessing he didn't bother to say, "Hey, congrats!"

[square]

"Heh, that's right, Dad. YOU'LL get over it."

[p123]

His advice "oh dont worry about all that she'll get over it". WOW again. I know now why my one marriage lasted twice as long as both of his stuck together!

Woof. And I'm guessing he didn't bother to say, "Hey, congrats!"

Nope. Never going to happen....

[p123]

She'll get over it. Dear God!

Oh yes. Dad has been married twice and divorced twice. I find it hard to believe how he even found two women to marry him in the first place.

His views on women and marriage are legendary. You may remember him telling me to "have a word with my wife and sort her out whatever it takes".
Its like the 1950s in Dads head....

[p123]

One thing hes taken to doing a lot is saying one particular phrase when hes not happy. Its a bit weird and I think its a local to area thing and more for the older generation....

Well, and trying not to get banned here, if someone or something annoys you might say something like FFS or FGS. You know. Either way if you said to someone sorry I'm not available to do that and they said that to you, in my mind, thats them being really rude ands expressing strong dissatisfaction at what you just said.

Dad has taken to this all the time - Says "Oh......Sufferin' '" when I tell him I cant do something....

[moglow]

"Sufferin succotash!" was one from Sylvester the Cat /Loony Toons cartoons way back when. He said it with a lisp and probably a lot of spit!! Maybe that'll help take the sting out for you. 😎

[p123]

"Sufferin succotash!" was one from Sylvester the Cat /Loony Toons cartoons way back when. He said it with a lisp and probably a lot of spit!! Maybe that'll help take the sting out for you. 😎

Haha yes I'd forgotten all about that!!!!!

[Sneezy]

She'll get over it???  Really???  Oh my, if you ever needed proof that your dad has a PD, I think those four words are it.  She'll get over it???  I'm still shaking my head over that.   

And Congratulations on your 25th Anniversary!

[p123]

She'll get over it???  Really???  Oh my, if you ever needed proof that your dad has a PD, I think those four words are it.  She'll get over it???  I'm still shaking my head over that.   

And Congratulations on your 25th Anniversary!

Thats Dad to a TEE. Its always ok sort your problems out but don't let them get in the way...... I've got a teenage son with Aspergers. We've had a REALLY hard time with him. Dads attitude always seems to be "oh well sort him out and we'll get back to normal". He even once said "All he needs is a clout that'll sort his bad behaviour".

I remember years ago. Son must have been 5 or 6. Dad was in hospital over xmas. Hospital he was in was 45 mins drive away.
So he wanted to make sure I visited him on xmas day - he was adamant.

I agreed, yeh thats fine. He insisted I was there, in the hospital, visiting him at 10am absolute latest. Umm no Dad, bear with me, let me open presents with my son, spend a bit of time, I'll pop over lunchtime. Nope not happy "I want you there early - there'll be other Xmases to spend with your son!" Yep really. I didnt give in.

He used to spend xmas day with us. No more. One year he decided he was ill. Wasnt going to make it through the holidays. Nothing wrong with him.  Played it up massively. Still ate ALL his xmas dinner though. So I took him home, he said he was going to call an ambulance. He was SO ILL. Stupidly, I spent hours calming him down - all the while my son is at home waiting for me to come home to play with him.

I made a bad decision that day and wife went nuts. Never again. He still says "I'm going to call an ambulance" and now I just say "ok go on then". Sometimes he does anyway but I let them deal with it now. Mostly they refuse to come now anyway.

This week Im really busy. Only time I could visit was when wife got home from work at 9pm last night. 30 min drive. I get there and hes "im so sorry to drag you out but I was desperate for milk". Umm theres alternatives to me driving 25 miles to deliver milk to you!

And no you're not sorry at all - you got what you wanted. Massive inconvenience for me....

[Poison Ivy]

My ex-husband also heard things like, "There will be other holidays to spend with your children" from his dad. It was awful for the children to be seen as competition against their grandfather. (Strictly speaking, grandparents, but grandma had Alzheimer's disease and couldn't tell who was seeing her.)

The fact that FIL often won the competition was a major contributor to the demise of my marriage.

[p123]

This weeks classic.....

"So can you visit me the next two weekends". Me - "Nope".
Then he asks me about my son (hes 17 got aspergers and its hard work). So I tell him about how hard its been, etc Don't know why I bothered.

His reply "Oh I'm sorry you've got all that to deal with and you've got to come to visit me the weekend as well".

What? I said no!

As usual with Dad he wants to occupy positions 1-10 in the priority list with everyone else 2nd fiddle.

[p123]

Oh and his mobility scooter. Jeez.....

Hes decided now he wont go out on his own. So he goes with his cousin - 3 years younger than him (he walks). So if he get stuck he expects his cousin to help him sort it out. He expects him to hop on and reverse it etc. Thats typical of Dad - someone else can be in charge.

Reason he won't go on his own is in case he breaks down. I've got him breakdown insurance. Nope. His excuse he hasnt got a phone. He has it just stays in the box.
So I said "but Dad if my car breaks down I can't walk home".  And if you do break down if you're cousin is there he can hardly carry you the 1/2 mile home so whats the problem?
Dad being Dad just wants someone else to be "in charge" and do everything for him.

It sickens me sometime the way he treats people and uses them.

I give up sometimes - he needs to be in a home.