Feeling Very Sad, And Miss My Kids

[Kat54]

As the holiday of Easter approaches which my family celebrates. Again, feeling anxious and extremely sad. Two weeks ago I brought the day up to my kids, and have suggested a couple ways we could observe the holiday and they could also be with their father, have yet to hear a word from them. I've talked to them about other things, and as soon as I brought up Easter they seem to circle away from that conversation. Didn't push or pressure them, so kept letting it slide. here we are a couple days before and no idea if I'll see them.

Again, I know their father, he's pulling out the feel sorry for him card as he always does and they are most likely feeling conflicted and its easier to appease him. They're adults and have to figure it out. Not sure what my ex has said to them lately regarding things with the house which he made an offer to buy. Price was too low, it would be like I'm gifting it too him.

Maybe I need to get tough with them, be upset and say hey I'm your parent who tries to stay reasonable but sometimes its super hard and I deserve to spend a holiday with them.  Christmas day it was supposed to be me with them at my sisters...guess who comes also; he had no where to go. So no don't get any holiday alone with them so far. Didn't see them at Thanksgiving.  Our relationship is strained and they both want our divorce over with. The things with them and their hurt is what makes everyday so hard.  Hope and pray someday it will change.

[mrstring]

Holiday's do have a way of magnifying things. Maybe if you get them alone the next Sunday, celebrate then? Sounds like a tough situation either way.

[coyote]

Kat54,
I have grown kids also that not only don't see me for holidays but not at all. Ex plays the pity card very well and they go for it. As well as ex is always there with the checkbook out. It was tough at first but has gotten better over the years. I see it as their loss. I hope things go better for you.

[notrightinthehead]

I have no advice for you, just wanted to send you a big hug.
Personally, I have decided that in future I will start to make plans for myself and wait for the kids to come up with suggestions if they want to spend time with me. Maybe they need some space for a while from their parents.

[Hikercymru]

This is so hard, it is the hardest thing.
Big hugs.
The advice above is good.
Be kind to yourself.
Always offer things to do with your kids.

[Kat54]

The holiday did go better than expected. They did reach out at the last minute, a little drama from my daughter but it worked out. Went to church and spent the morning with them. I get wrapped up in my own head and think my kids hate me.  They don't and they are hurting Also. So everyday is new, and better than the next.. we all hope.

[coyote]

Good for you, so glad it worked out. It is easy for all of us to "get wrapped up in our own head." Be gentle with yourself.