Active Listening Improvement

[SonofThunder]

Dear Bloomie,

The descriptions of your childhood experiences are just mind-blowing. Having two enmeshed, highly abusive parents with the attributes you describe. 😳🤯

Im so very sorry that was your childhood reality. Reading your expressive and gracious writing while knowing those facts, accentuates your incredible journey and transformation into the strong, kind, gentle, highly educated and greatly experienced leader you are today.  My word Bloomie....you are an amazing example!  😃

Well done my friend and comrade!  🏆

SoT

[bloomie]

SOT - that is so very kind. Thank you.

I know it is not the religious board, but in response to your thoughts... the thing my parents did that is more important than anything else is they introduced me to Jesus. I have had a loving heavenly Father my entire life and been loved unconditionally by Him. The gift of faith has made all the difference in my life and been a light to my journey, my stable place, my protection, comfort, and guide.

The other important piece that I can take zero credit for is the support and direction I have found in this community and in real life recovery community. Not to mention those who have gone before me and create content and resources for us all to learn and grow from.

If not for God and having slowly built a good support system around myself, I honestly believe I would be living in a van down by the river. 

[SonofThunder]

SOT - that is so very kind. Thank you.

I know it is not the religious board, but in response to your thoughts... the thing my parents did that is more important than anything else is they introduced me to Jesus. I have had a loving heavenly Father my entire life and been loved unconditionally by Him. The gift of faith has made all the difference in my life and been a light to my journey, my stable place, my protection, comfort, and guide.

The other important piece that I can take zero credit for is the support and direction I have found in this community and in real life recovery community. Not to mention those who have gone before me and create content and resources for us all to learn and grow from.

If not for God and having slowly built a good support system around myself, I honestly believe I would be living in a van down by the river. 

What a beautiful perspective Bloomie!  ☺️❤️

😂 I could'nt help but think of Chris Farley though, and you giving a motivational speech to the next generation of active-listeners.

SoT

[bloomie]

I could'nt help but think of Chris Farley though

I loved him!! Glad you got the reference! 🤣

[escapingman]

Very interesting thread, I have followed but wanted to wait to add.

When I was growing up, there were no conversations going on at home, other than mainly my mum complaining about something or someone. That never thought me the art of conversation and I still struggle, I have no problems with communicating in the workspace or on the surface but as soon as anyone shares anything intimate I struggle how to respond. My uNPDxw did the opposite, she kept monologing and I was not allowed to say a word until she had completed her speech, and when that was completed, which could be 10-15 minutes if not longer, she suddenly became busy with something else which in turn made me completely left out of saying anything. During these monologues I had to pretend I was very interested and listened and made the right sounds at the right time, if not I got reprimanded, either with her shouting at me and then continuing her "story" or else she just left giving me the silent treatment wanting me to beg her to finish what she was talking about. This too has left it very difficult when having conversations in knowing when it is ok to interrupt or add when listening to someone.

The art of conversation is something that the PD's of my life really disrupted, this includes both listening and talking.