Ignoring you

[Jsinjin]

My undiagnosed OCPD spouse has a pattern of completely ignoring me when one of us arrives home.    She answers with one word phrases, discusses nothing, and generally appears to be furious about something althiugh she insists there is just nothing to talk about.   The typical arrival home for her will have a wander through and look at everything in the house; bookshelves, trash cans, dishes in the sink, food in the fridge and sigh audibly about anything out of place.   Occasionally there is an interrogation
    Then she will usually meld with the computer online forums for several hours.   There is never a hello, never an acknowledgement and has not been one for 25 years.   I realized a while ago that I do not being her joy.

[11JB68]

Interesting. My uOCPDh is almost/sort of 'opposite'. Although he doesn't 'come  home' any more as he works at home.
He has some BPD traits in that he is fearful of being alone and is very needy/clingy. When I (or DS) comes home he expects us to come and say hi to him/let him know we are home etc.
BUT if HE is 'in the middle' of something, he will continue to obsess/perseverate for as long as he feels is necessary. However (typical double standard) if I did that he would be annoyed/angry.
It's a no-win thing. He insists on knowing when I'll be home if I go out.
One Saturday I went out on errands. He asked when I'd be back (he was working on his computer as usual). I gave an estimated time. He said he'd try to be 'shut down' by the time I got home. He was not (though I was home just about when I said). I came in, said hello, got a minimal acknowledgement from him. I went into the other room and relaxed with a book. Later he came in and raged at me that I was 'ignoring him' in the other room. No mention that I had upheld my end of the bargain and that he had not.
When he used to work outside the home, and I was home part time, he would come home and not want to be bothered etc. for a while.
Yet, I come home and he immediately starts making requests of me for my 'help' with various things.
Also -not unusual (used to be moreso) for me to come home and he is in a 'rage' over something that he's been internalizing all day and proceeds to spew it at me when I walk in the door.
The incomplete sentences is a THING I think...I started a post about it today and Wilderhearts responded, and then Wilder also commented on one of your other posts about these 'communication issues'.
Even with pwPDs - the PD traits are somewhat consistent but there are still individual differences...