Genuine mistake- money

[Audacity]

Hi
I find myself again faced with another "genuine mistake".
By this I mean PD who is now out in her own home had a card to my credit line and was still on the account.
Here when you have a Mastercard you have a main person for the account and a secondary. The main is legally liable for any dept.
PD went to the bank 2 months ago and cut up her card and took herself off the account, apparently.
Yesterday I found a purchase on it and knew it was her as it was location etc.
I messaged her to ask because I was going to report this purchase to the bank.
It was Friday night and I had the boys so party night at her place as per-usual.
She cut up the card and sent a picture to me and when pressed about being on the account said she didn't know if she was. Despite assuring me she went into the bank and took herself of (tears and regret the first time).
After I asked her for answers by text. She then sent her original message (text) and assured me it was a genuine mistake and she will call the bank and fix it.
My son, who was the he reason I found out because he handed her the wrong card to make the purchase said she knew she had the card. Her words to him were, "shit, dad will be angry about this, I should have hidden the card at the back of my purse".
After similar things with insurance and phone etc. I am convinced this was deliberate and that after the financial separation was done she fully intended to use the card and leave me with a $6000 debt to cover, as the account was not mentioned in the papers because it was already in my name alone (but really wasn't).
I am tired of these elaborate games to sink me in debt and make me pay. But the question I keep asking myself is - despite all the evidence I am wondering if I am just being paranoid about this?
I don't believe I am but every day brings new frustration and things to light that just blows me away.
3 months separated and still working hard to rebuild me.
Am I correct in my assumption?

[square]

She has obviously lost any right to your trust on anything.

I had assumed that when people disentangle their finances that the responsible party takes care of account closures - so they are not left on the other person's word.

I have two credit cards and if I do a financial split, I'll call both companies, cancel those accounts, and open a new one in my name only. (And he can open his own without my involvement).

If you have other shared assets that she claimed to remove herself from, you should close them and open your own.

[square]

Btw, just because a card is cut up doesn't mean the account can't be used online ir over the phone. So the photo means pretty much nothing.

[Audacity]

Thanks. I rang the bank and put a pause on the account. Removed her and will be issued a new card. So any access by her will be fraud.
My question is. Am I being overly dramatic thinking she is that calculating?
Considering this is not the first time?
I have never experienced anything like this before and am questioning my sanity around this????

[Poison Ivy]

I don't think you're being overly dramatic in thinking that your ex is doing this stuff on purpose. Many people do sketchy things with money, and even people who wouldn't do so under "normal" circumstances might do so during or after a divorce.

[Gettintired76]

Dont think yourself insane Audacity thats exactly what she wants and never doubt what shes capable of (I learned that the hard way, and still learning). You've heard the saying " keep your friends close and your enemies closer"? It was written about PD's. All you can do is take her words at face value and guage by her actions and her history, enjoy your time with your kids and try like hell not to let her get under your skin. As for the credit card I agree with everything quoted above. Working at a bank for over a year (in the fraud detection dept), I can attest that a cut up card means nothing as the info thereon is still active. The only way to assure she cant use any card is to deactivate said card receive a new one and change everything. I wish you all the luck in the world that you get everything resolve and and are able to stay on the upslope.

[blunk]

My question is. Am I being overly dramatic thinking she is that calculating?

No, you are absolutely NOT being overly dramatic. She knew she still had the card after telling you she cut it up.

Her words to him were, "shit, dad will be angry about this, I should have hidden the card at the back of my purse".

[JustKeepTrying]

no this isn't dramatic.  it was intentional and deceptive and manipulative.  to mutter that in front of your kid is incredibly manipulative.  shame on her

for me, legally, I was entitled to all accounts for living expenses until the divorce was approved by the court.  it took six months.  I wasn't allowed to open a credit card because that debt would have been technically both of ours.  be very careful and talk to your lawyer so you understand all the parameters.  it can vary wildly.

The bottom line, Is you are not overdramatizing this.