Anybody have any idea why my thread was locked for review? I didnt do anything wrong.
Anyway square as I was saying, for the most part they are going solely on what my daughter allegedly say (understandably) but he does have questions due to the history of the case as to the validity of the testimony (not at all saying the child is lying, but more so that she may have been coached or coerced in some way). So he sadly for not will not be asking for any kind of visitations with the kids, he will however attempt to either have it A: moved back to my ex's county or B: Have my ex forced to comply with court orders for retesting.
I don't know about the thread, time will tell, don't worry about it.
While visitation/custody is super important, I get the idea that it's seperate from this proceeding. Sounds the like lawyer is in yoyr corner and understands the primary issue (coaching/coercion). Whew.
And I found out he knows my "hired" attorney and has worked alot of cases with him, so I actually have two attorneys now to my ex's one soo I hope that helps. It does seem he finally gets the whole PSA situation which also helps. He agreed that the kids need to be kept from their mother and stepdad during the interview process. Now I know without doubt that my 11 yr old is in no way competent for any proceedings, my 10 yr old its 50/50 but she is very emotionally stunted as well. As is my 14 yr old, but I thing he has a bit more of a grasp of the situation then the girls. I blame myself and have been blamed for the damage done to them, I should have left sooner, so they could get straightened out sooner and stabilized.
It sounds to me like you were really blindsided. And all of us here had a process to go through before we could understand.
Blindsided doesnt begin to cover it, she ripped my eyes out and stomped on them then poured acid in the sockets before sewing them shut, *takes a deep breath phew I think I got the point across lol
And...drumroll please.... I may be working again already! Lol
Hey, that's great news.
Yeah, honestly, I would say you have the right to write a country song about that fiasco of a breakup.
It would never fly, nobody would believe it.
Its still killing me hes not even gonna try to get me supervised visitations even tho he said the judge wouldn't grant it. However he made a valid point, in the paperwork my daughter alleges abuse, but never says by whom.
That's an interesting point.
On visitstion, why did he say the judge wouldn't grant it?
Also, you have legal visitation for your son already, needs to be enforced.
The jusge wont grant due to the allegations and they are afraid I might talk some sense into the kids, so dammit they are doing her a favor. My County threw all 3 into the allegations and um my ex doesnt know it yet but um they are taking the kids from her too....she really fucked up this time.
My heart bleeds for your children, G.
I'm so sorry they're in this situation.
I'm praying they get relief and support soon from the system.
Agreed.
Agreed And I wish I could have recorded the exchange I just had with my ex and daughter, my stopped by to pick up her child support my daughter got out of the car and refused to get back in screaming she didnt want to go with them.
Oh I interview for my new job monday woohoo and will probably start tuesday
I hope you get the job!
I got it just dont find out when I start till monday
Hey, congratulations, well done!!
Congratulations!
Im back to no contact with the children it destroyed my daughter as I knew it would, they are keeping it over here in my county and forcing tests. I have to take parenting classes which hey im all for it hell i think every parent should have to personally.
I believe the way daughter reacted today will speak volumes in this case. She pretty much made CPS total liars.
Is the hearing still tomorrow?
EDIT: Lost track of the days. Today os Friday. Soos that the result of the hearing?
Yeah thats the results, the judge threw a fit because all three kids were not there and their lawyer didnt even show up. Even my ex was shock tho that they took my visitation away, and CPS put everyone of the charges on me. Everyone else it was dropped. Nobody could really understand why her county cleared me then two days later reported me to my county, but the judge to err on the side of caution and I understand completely ( I was sexually molested and assaulted as a child) she wants my daughter reinterviewed over here. My baby couldn't understand why she couldnt be with me or why i had to say goodbye. She went ballistic. This shit is destroying her.
So the interviews are the next step? Have those been scheduled yet?
They are working on getting them scheduled. It will be within the next 30-60 days. I have to attend parenting and life skills (of all things) classes too.
I really admire your attitude about the parenting classes. May as well see if there's something to be gained, who knows. And it will reflect well on you.
I hope they hurry the heck up with the interviews. Time is important here.
I learned a helluva lot from the parenting classes i took when i filed the custody papers. So im for i know ill learn more.
Ok...so my ex has broken the no contact rule i answered a few texts she's getting mean and nasty, and she told on herself she and her hubby called it in to my county. Why I do not know. What do I do I dont want to get into trouble with the court. She claims she didnt know we were supposed to be no contact.
Im trying my best to not do anything to jeopardize my case, but damn if I can use it she really waylaid herself. She basically admitted to everything ive been preaching. Its all been vengeance because my son told me a bunch of stuff last Christmas, and she is getting vengeance for me "bad mouthing her and her husband"
Screenshot thode texts and show them to your lawyer.
What about the no contact she claims her lawyer never told her about it
It pisses me off that she claims she had no intention of getting the kids taken from me again or anything, and I gave her over 5 grand last month (cash, groceries, gas, and I paid her damn cable) but shes so hellbent on hurting my sister she refuses to make it right and fess up.
You need to tell your lawyer and your lawyer decides. If you don't, what if your ex tries to use the text against you somehow and your lawyer gets blindsided or something. And if it helps you somehow, idk, then great.
I can't even begin to understand how someone like your ex works, it's just so toxic. And she is willing to harm her children.
Oh she claims its in the best interest of the kids, and I agree I mean like yesterday, all this coming and she still hits me up supersweet for mays child support then later calls whining about her cable/ internet that our son needed it for school work i mean her hubby is supposed to be bringing home $2000 a week but she has no money? What exactly is he doing with it? Oh and the caseworker has specifically that when interviewed my daughters hair was oily matted and had food in it, but because my ex threw clean clothes on her she was safe and healthy
It's not just the mess with you. She's endangered the kids with her husband. She's neglected them medically. And so on.
Oh shes covered herself with all that and they are licking her hindend about too "poor thing doesnt have a way to get out shes all alone cause her husband leaves out for work...yada" she chose the life she is living
EXACTLY
I have so many regrets about the last 14 yrs what my kids have had to go through because I wasnt man enough to put her in her place. My 11 if she would have been properly evaluated and treated before pre school i feel she would have flourished in reg classes, my youngest never should have been put in special ed at all, she epileptic thats all, she doesn't need special ed but her mother has her convinced she does, that she mentally challenged, the is smart as hell, smartaleck too, like me! She has locked my 11 yr old in her bedroom for whole days at a time because she "couldn't handle her" and I was so drained I allowed it. She has cussed them threatened to send them away, thrown them, she had my son in a fetal position on the couch beating the hell out of him last December trying to get his phone to delete messages to his Nana as punishment for telling her what was going on. All of that and more is going through my head right now, Im catching the blame and getting the repercussions of it all, while shes laughing. I dont even care anymore about what she did to me. The look on my daughter's face today will haunt me forever that baby had her heart destroyed in a way I never wanted to see happen.
I'm so sorry. I just don't understand how a mother could do that to her children.
I dont know square and i dont know how a system can just ignore it. So im totally drunk right now and freakin listening to Phil Collins so im think way too much
I meant sorry
I know it. I know the system lets so many down.
Enjoy Phil. Been listening to that Offspring song a ton, mostly the 2021 but also the 1997, great guitar on the original.
Oh the 97 has most excellent guitar. Was bawling my freakin eyes out listening to 2021 a minute ago
I dont know im so far past everything thing i don't know if i can process anymore, i mean i love my children more than my own life but i just dont know how much farther i can go the look on my babies face and they just give a fuck just fuckin mutter im sorry im done with the system the caseworker is a damn pothead who i swear didnt even know what damn planet he was on and all i get is an im sorry then ignore what ive got as evidence its like why the fuck you have me bring it if your not gonna even look at it?
Im sorry if I offended anybody I told I ws drunk Ill repost in the AM
No offense over here.
I don't remember if I've asked before but can you prove those payments? I hope you're writing checks rather than forking over piles of cash. Your ex's husband just loves having another man support his wife and the kids under his roof. And your ex loves having an ATM that spits out money on tears.
Credit card so i have record
Good.
And I gave up years ago on her paying back what she promises, if me and my family actually had all her "paybacks" we'd be rich
Five grand is far more than my family goes through in a month, mortgage included.
You're paying far more than child support.
In your shoes I'd rather make a direct Internet payment for your son, or purchase actual groceries for your children. It's still completely wrong imho but I would not want to be funding her vacations, shopping sprees, etc.
That was quote unquote back child support (Jan, Feb, Mar and April), buying groceries, putting gas in her car because "her husband wont give her any money", buying stuff for the kids, and entertainment for the kids, as well as paying her phone and cable/internet.
And Im the one being charged with neglect go figure.
Is there a court order for child support?
No she refused to involve the court, refuse to even answer my custody petition.
There may very well be one soon though here they can order no contact and still force child support which you know I dont mind paying it, I helped bring them into this world after all.
It is good to support your children. I suggest that you ask your lawyers whether you should continue making the payments when there isn't an order in effect. If they say "yes, keep paying," perhaps you could come up with an amount to pay that is based on something other than "whatever she asks for."
I feel for you GT76, I am worried I will end up in a similar situation. Absolutely understandable you get drunk at times, I do as well as that's to only way to cope at times. Not great but we are only humans.
Good luck with everything.
I just keep hearing my baby begging not to say goodbye and my ex swearing it didn't happen that way. Its killing me it really is. What can happen to my ex for breaking no contact? I tried to leave it as can be seen and then she would throw the no contact at me and the leave her alone then keep going for 20 more texts. Escalating to more and more abusive attitudes and language until accusing me of mind games until I finally had to sign off and not even look at messenger?
Quote from: Poison Ivy on April 30, 2022, 11:14:46 AM
It is good to support your children. I suggest that you ask your lawyers whether you should continue making the payments when there isn't an order in effect. If they say "yes, keep paying," perhaps you could come up with an amount to pay that is based on something other than "whatever she asks for."
Do you or anyone else have ideas on how to manage the manipulation?
The ex will tell GT they don't have money for food ir the Internet is shut off and his son can't do schoolwork or any number of urgent needs.
GT then feels obligated to help out so his kids don't pay the price.
Then ex can just use any money she has on whatever and know GT is always good for groceries or whatever sob story. And her husband does not need to support them at all.
Quote from: Gettintired76 on April 30, 2022, 11:54:20 AM
I just keep hearing my baby begging not to say goodbye and my ex swearing it didn't happen that way. Its killing me it really is. What can happen to my ex for breaking no contact? I tried to leave it as can be seen and then she would throw the no contact at me and the leave her alone then keep going for 20 more texts. Escalating to more and more abusive attitudes and language until accusing me of mind games until I finally had to sign off and not even look at messenger?
I'm sorry about your daughter, that's hard.
About the no contact, you did the right thing by signing off.
Next time, do that immediately, with no reply at all.
And show the abusive language to your lawyer.
Shes breaking it again, wanting to text me about the cat of all things
Like nothing has happened just another day oh btw your cat is trying to get pregnant
Don't reply. Is it possible to put on ignore so you capture her messages but you don't see them unless you look? And avoid looking until you are about to talk to your lawyer?
RESIST THE URGE, GT!!! ;)
I get notifications for messages so her message will pop up but i have to open her convo to clear the note
Check various settings. I have a "Hide alerts" option for a specific contact, for example.
Because her contacts do seem to throw you for a loop, if there is a way to mute her, so much the better.
This one just kinda had me scratching my head..like your really gonna jeopardize yourself to tell me something as stupid as the cat wants to get pregnant?
She does not seem to have any connection to consequences. You say she feels fine skipping court hearings and the like. I would dread the consequences of such actions. And apparently she almost always gwt away with it. So, sure, what does she care about restraining herself from texting you about anything at all?
Agreed, she has never had a conscience nor shown remorse, always been allowed to "pass the buck" or start throwing different accusations at someone else so as to be removed from the hot seat. Shes good at playing the scared little wretched victim of society, I used to fall for it hook line and sinker.
During our divorce (6 years ago now), my spouse didn't follow all the rules. I had to remind myself that his rule-breaking was no excuse for me to engage in the same behavior and that he wasn't going to stop some of his long-standing behaviors (e.g., hiding money) merely because the law says he shouldn't hide money (or whatever).
I agree completely Poison, did he get in trouble for it?
My sister has been at her job for over 30 yrs and because of what it is she may lose it over all of this. Which is something else my ex has threatened repeatedly for the past 14 yrs over every little thing.
Smh looking through some old videos of the kids I found one from Christmas lol my youngest can be such a smartass bless her heart. God I miss them.
Your kids do sound great, full of life.
Oh they are, thats why is s hard seeing them like they are right now, and being the only one who realizes the changes and nobody will listen.
What are the odds on this getting an about face because of her breaking no contact and admitting this happening because she still believes I called CPS in January?
Even your lawyer shouldn't give odds on that (or any other specific result of this or any case).
Agreed, no idea.
But if you have that admission in writing your lawyer needs to see it.
Oh my lawyer has already given up, he says im pretty much fucked and going to prison, thats why I didnt want a public defender.
I did some digging and I found out my "attorney" is even licensed for familly law and the GAL is his law firm partner.
Is not even licensed for family law
That's interesting. In my state, lawyers aren't licensed for specific specialties, so any lawyer licensed in the state can practice any kind of law. (I'm not saying that experience in specific areas is irrelevant; it can be very relevant.)
Here they are licensed for specific areas, example a traffic law attorney has no idea what hes up against in a family law case. Whats worriesome for me is that his law partner is representing the State as GAL
The GAL typically represents the interests of an individual or individuals. In this situation, the GAL probably is representing the interests of your children.
Here is an example: "The GAL acts as an investigator for the court. The GAL investigates all aspects of the case, writes a report about his or her findings, and also gives recommendations to the court as to what should happen to the child. The GAL works in the best interests of the child. The investigation is very in-depth. The GAL talks to you, your child, and people who know what type of relationship you have with your child. The GAL also looks at various documents and information that helps them with their investigation and recommendations."
Yeah i know what a GAL is my daughter has had one since January when all of this stuff started against her mother
The GAL in my exes county had no idea what she was doing.
Thread locked for length.