Working to get out of FOG for years

[fogclear]

Working to get out of FOG for years and found it liberating and freeing. Has taken years and it has been difficult but I didn't realize just how disordered my family had been collectively and the saddest part is that rather than work on it together they denied it was even a problem. The 3 females HD all been character assasinated by the males of the family, scapegoated and made to be equally responsible for problems instigated by our father who was the Amin antagonist. My brother was used as an allied recruit to bully me into submission and my mother supported the behaviour lest she be the target again. It was so upsetting when I stood up for her and became the target and when I pointed these things out to the males they denied it was what they were doing altogether. It was positively reinforced by my father and my sister sat on the fence after years of being told that was what a person with integrity did. I always thought people with integrity, upstood for victims, but things were so twisted to support male ego that myself an entire human being was less valuable than having their ego boosted and maintaining support from others to bully me to own the false narratives. They gaslit me directly telling me I had  PD and after years of questioning why I remembered interactions so differently I sought 2 Psychiatrists to tell me what was wrong with me. The said I HD anxiety and Trauma., but no PD. I was abused psychologically and  it took about 7 years to recover once I realized it was a family problem that only I wanted to fix-even thought 2,other women experienced what I did to different degrees. It was sick and it made me fogged too. I am "new" here after years of work and I find it interesting  how much lifting the FOG  has been like peeling back layers of an onion. It is a process I found, but freeing as each layer comes off and you can see a whole new horizon ahead of you. My only regret was that when I began to change years before that I didn't trust in myself and questioned me when I was on the right path-but not the path the males felt secure seeing me on. Push forward in your 30s and don't allow disordered behaviour sit out you back in the FOG. The open horizon of feeesom is the pathway  out. Congrats from a 47 year old who was derailed from the clear horizon in my laid 30s. Just congrats!

[bloomie]

Hi fogclear - Welcome to the community! What a courageous battle you have waged to gain clarity and an ability to trust yourself and gain good solid ground under your feet.

Looking forward to hearing more of your journey and seeing you out there on the forum boards!

[guitarman]

Welcome. You are not alone.

I have a uBPD/NPD sister. I am now non contact with her for over two years. I don't want to see her ever again. I care but can't cope with any more of her trauma and abuse.

I realise that I will need support for the rest of my life and I'm OK with that.

I've found my tribe here.

Keep calm. Stay strong. Stay safe. Keep posting.