How do you handle being blamed for negativity?

[me01t]

When you have been going through emotional abuse, obviously you feel alone, sad and misunderstood enough already. You are trying your best to get through each day the best you can. With this in mind, How do you handle people who blame you or detach themselves from you for your negativity or have a go at you for not walking away sooner or not handling things better when you are going through this or in retrospect when they can't see what is going on?

[Feral Child]

From what I've read here, most people haven't experienced the high degree of PD abuse we have.

They don't know (maybe, don't want to know) or understand the depth of the abuse and the impact it can have on our ability cope.

Friends responses can minimize (Yeah, mothers can make us crazy) or be downright hostile (No mother would do that! You need to get over the past!)   

For those people, I fade slowly out of their lives.  Very low contact or no contact.  I have little time left for them.  They don't deserve it.

You will find others (like those here on the forum) who understand.  Draw strength from them.  That's why these forums exist.  To validate and support.  You're in the right place.     We are here to cheer you on.

[Call Me Cordelia]

I don't know who these people are.. are you talking about people who say, "Well you must have been at least 50% of the problem." Or, "If it was really that bad, why didn't you break away sooner?" Or, "Just get over it already!" That kind of thing? The invalidating sorts?

I agree with Feral Child, they go on a information diet. They've shown they aren't able to support me in this area of my life. I just don't bring it up any more. Sometimes the relationship survives, superficially, other times not. I've had occasions where it was fairly unavoidable to tell something of the truth. It's okay.