Minimalism, Essentialism, and slow living

[SonofThunder]

When I sold the family house last year, I spent a lot of time just chucking stuff.  All the stuff and crap you gather and the kids leave behind.  Bags and bags of it.  So satisfying.  I am now in the final throes of doing it again as prepare for a real minimalist approach to life - all that I have will fit into a camper van. 

I am loving every satisfying moment.  Each box that is packed and stored or donated feels like another burden lifted.  Another step toward freedom.

But it's more than minimalism or minimalish - it's peace.  My mom always said that clutter clutters the mind.  And she's right.  The less I have out, the quieter I feel.  Almost a craving.

When I stop moving someday, I think tiny home or small condo will be my jam.

  +1

SoT

[Associate of Daniel]

I had to laugh at myself the other day.  I was reading a book on digital minimalism.

A lot of the suggestions it had - well I had no clue what it was talking about.  I've never heard of many of the apps and digital tools it suggests removing from our devices. So I've not been using them anyway.  I guess I'm already a digital minimalist!

Although, I'd like to try to cut down the amount of hours I use my phone.  It sucks so much time.  But it also stops me from noticing the things around me, including things that I really ought to be attending to.

Regarding decluttering stuff, The Minimal Mum on YouTube speaks about the Silent To Do List.  That every item in our houses is sending a message of "attend to me".  Dishes need doing, laundry needs putting away, bills need to be paid etc.. 

I've found that since decluttering/minimalising the main rooms - kitchen, bathroom, linen closet, wardrobe etc. - it's a lot quicker to attend to those daily things and as a result I'm not stressed out by the need to attend to those Jobs.

However, I have a lot of stuff in other cupboards that I still need to minimise.  I have cupboards full of sheet music and albums, cds, records, cassettes, music text books.  Not to mention homeschool supplies, books and paper, dvds etc..  I call all of that my Silent To Do List, even though I don't see any of it unless I open those cupboards, and it's a frustratingly slow process to go through it all.  I think I've found a place that may take the records (I don't even have a record player!) and sheet music etc.  But it will be hard to let it go.  A lot of it has been handed down through the family for a few generations.  I have oratorio scores from over 100 years ago, which I loved using when I was studying singing.

Anyway, I'm rambling.

But finally, on the subject of music, I've found a few playlists on YouTube of slow living music.  I find it very peaceful to have on in the background as I attend to things around the house.  I highly recommend them, if anyone is interested.

AOD

[Hepatica]

A really interesting topic. For many years now, something stubborn in me began to refuse to 'buy in' to the busy-ness, and in many ways it's given me a good, peaceful life.

Way back in 2010 i stumbled onto Mr. Money Mustache website and I began to implement a lot of the suggestions there. We downsized to one car, lucky that my Dh can ride his bike to work most days. We made sure to pay our credit cards off every month before any interest set in. Anyway, so many practical tips on that site that made me psychologically untangle myself from the mindset that we need to buy more things.

In the past year I went thru a number of old totes, with stuff that went back to childhood. I haven't gotten rid of it, and I can't figure out why. Going thru it gives me a sickly, nostalgia and I don't like the feeling, but I'm anxious to throw it out. Other things like old clothing too, but then when I just do it and get rid of them, I rarely regret it, and instead feel an opening, a freshness.

The less busyness aspect is very wonderful. I have been able to leave my job. Lucky I know. It's really much to do with timing. The prices for homes back in the early 2000's were so low and we bought a very small home. But I do have my own life. I seem to thrive on neglect.  I feel almost allergic to the consumer culture. In my healing process from C-PTSD, all I crave is quiet and gardens and simplicity. I think that I am wired to be back in pre-industrial times, but of course, I love modern medicine, just from the perspective of having had a very traumatic birth experience where me and my Ds would have died without it. Gratitude for that. But yeah. Big cities are great to visit. I love culture. But I could happily live in a place where I could have my own horse and ride my own horse to visit a friend down the way, and knit on the porch and drink tea. That's my ideal life. Good conversation. Dinners with authentic folks. Boardgames. Nothing flashy.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Sounds like a great life, Hepatica! I'd like to be your neighbor down the road. Yes we also downsized to one car! When DH started working from home full time we didn't need two! There are times it would be a convenience but really... most of the time we really don't need to be going in multiple directions. Horses might be more maintenance but I share your picturesque affection for them! There's a natural limit to how far you can push a horse in a day that would be very human and good. I don't actually know anything about horses. But it does us good to just say no to more activities. We don't do organized sports in our family. We're all plenty active and I don't need to sit in a different cold field with babies every Saturday morning to check that box for my kids. I'd much rather be in my garden!

[Sojourner17]

When we moved out of province we downsized to one car and have been a one car family for the last five years.  My husband takes the car to work but if I need it I just take him to work or he brings it home for me at lunchtime and we drop him off.  My husband wants to get a work truck to get us back into the mountains where you need a more high clearance vehicle (for hiking/eventual backcountry camping) and for getting our own firewood for the winter.  For the lifestyle we would like to cultivate, having this type of vehicle makes sense however for our everyday living I can pretty much walk anywhere in our town that we need to go.
We arent much for organized sports either outside of a 2 month soccer season in the spring (games and practices during the week...no Saturday/weekend games or tournaments).  We are planning on getting chickens this spring if it works out plus id eventually like to transform our front yard into garden space.  Id like to get away from the amount of tv watching that happens but its kind of my husbands jam/the way he relaxes/parents, even though he is starting to get more into reading.
We have a pretty small house so I try to keep on top of the clutter but I'm constantly moving things out.  We have a lady in the community that likes to shop for us at the thrift store.  Its a wonderful thing but at the same time its sometimes a problem because she finds stuff for us pretty much multiple times a week (mostly stuff/clothes for the kids).
Add homeschool things on top of this and there are times where I feel like we are drowning in paper.      But in a way i find that homeschooling sort of works with the whole minimalism/slow living vibe.  I love the Charlotte Mason style of homeschooling,  so I'm constantly curating our library and looking for things that stand the test of time rather than just workbooks (more paper clutter).  Other methods work for other people...but for us...the Charlotte Mason method fits.

[Associate of Daniel]

(Shout out to all the homeschoolers here on the boards.  I take my hat off to you and I envy you.  I would have loved to have continued homeschooling my ds.  But uNPD exH, don't you know...)

I've decided on a small step to using my phone less:  The times that I need to look up the meaning of a word (surprisingly quite often), I will try to look it up in a proper, good old fashioned dictionary.  I'm thinking of putting one by my bed for when I'm doing my daily Bible reading.

I just thought I'd pop on here and mention it.  I guess as a way of keeping myself a bit more accountable.

I've really enjoyed the contributions to this thread.  Thank-you, everyone.

AOD

[SeaBreeze]

Here's a timer I (try to remember to) use before visiting any website on my phone:

https://minutesplease.com/

Except Out of the FOG. Sometimes I need to fall down the rabbit hole here!

[Jolie40]

  And papers?  It's too overwhelming.

we have minimal furniture....one chair in living room, one couch in family room, no furniture in kitchen as puppy has kitchen all to himself

however, papers are out of control (like you)
want to keep ALL my kid's artwork cause I think they're all so good, lol

soon to be in a 3rd writing group
have several writing notebooks & received more for Christmas!

I do our taxes & did extension so they were supposed to be sent in October but haven't even started yet
the pile of papers is stacked on my bedroom floor staring at me daily! I'm surprised husband hasn't gotten after me yet.

[Associate of Daniel]

I thought I'd pop in and update...

I have donated most of my record collection and a couple of books about music to a volunteer run classical music radio station.  I'm really glad they have gone to a good home - they sell them to raise money for the station.

I have yet to go through all my scores and flute, voice and piano albums and sheet music.  It's really hard to let them go but I have to be realistic.  I don't have the stamina, time or money to devote to using them as I used to in my previous life before uNPD exH.

And books!  I had to laugh at myself recently...

During the holidays ds16 and I did a clean out and reorganise of his bedroom.  In the process we removed a large bookcase which meant that the books all ended up on the lounge and hall floors.

During this time, ds had a couch delivered for his room. When I rang the delivery man the next day to pay, he asked me what I did for a living.  I told him I work in education and he replied, "I thought you did.".  I was really surprised as we hadn't met. ( I was at work when the couch was delivered.). Then I realised that he had walked into my house, which was basically a replica of a bomb site.  He's seen all the piles and piles and piles of books, and the others in a few other bookcases.  So, yes... books are  a sure indicator of an educator...

Anyway, slowly but surely, I'm getting there.  But I'm back at work completely tomorrow so I guess things will grind to a halt again for a long while.  Sigh.

AOD

[SonofThunder]

Congratulations on all that proactivity AOD!  Maximizing your minimalism and creating more open space for peace to flow into!  Enjoy the work week ahead. 

SoT

[Associate of Daniel]

Thought I'd pop in again.

I've just delivered a large box of music (sheet music, scores, piano music, music exam books etc) to a friend who has arranged to donate them to a local, voluntary classical  radio station

I still have cupboards full of music. I just did a quick "sweep" of what I had. 

I was really surprised at my responses as I went through them.  I became quite emotional at times.

I think it was mainly for 2 reasons:  First, it was like saying goodbye to who I was.  I'm unlikely to ever get back to the standards I used to be at.  Secondly, it was like revisiting old friends.

So many flute and vocal books I remember dragging around for many years.   I was almost attached at the hip to them.  They are tattered and worn, scribbled all over - well loved and much battled with.

Some of the flute pieces, I remembered quite viscerally how much I fought through them as I learned them over 20 years ago.  They were fearsome to learn.  I decided last night to keep them just to spite them! And I marvelled at how good I must have been at playing the flute to have learned them in the first place.  Some are as black as can be and you'd need a maths PHD to understand them. (Black as in covered in notes - please don't take it as a racist comment.)

So, I seem to have 3 categories of print music:  One that I want to keep and am likely to use, one that I should discard but want to keep, and a 3rd that I want to discard but feel I should hold on to.

I'm not sure that I'm up for another sweep yet.  But I am sure that I want to drag out that flute and that voice and have another go.  Very treasured memories have been buried deep.

AOD

[SonofThunder]

Thought I'd pop in again.

I've just delivered a large box of music (sheet music, scores, piano music, music exam books etc) to a friend who has arranged to donate them to a local, voluntary classical  radio station

I still have cupboards full of music. I just did a quick "sweep" of what I had. 

I was really surprised at my responses as I went through them.  I became quite emotional at times.

I think it was mainly for 2 reasons:  First, it was like saying goodbye to who I was.  I'm unlikely to ever get back to the standards I used to be at.  Secondly, it was like revisiting old friends.

So many flute and vocal books I remember dragging around for many years.   I was almost attached at the hip to them.  They are tattered and worn, scribbled all over - well loved and much battled with.

Some of the flute pieces, I remembered quite viscerally how much I fought through them as I learned them over 20 years ago.  They were fearsome to learn.  I decided last night to keep them just to spite them! And I marvelled at how good I must have been at playing the flute to have learned them in the first place.  Some are as black as can be and you'd need a maths PHD to understand them. (Black as in covered in notes - please don't take it as a racist comment.)

So, I seem to have 3 categories of print music:  One that I want to keep and am likely to use, one that I should discard but want to keep, and a 3rd that I want to discard but feel I should hold on to.

I'm not sure that I'm up for another sweep yet.  But I am sure that I want to drag out that flute and that voice and have another go.  Very treasured memories have been buried deep.

AOD

  This is a great update AOD!  Love the good news on minimizing, simplification and organization.  I love listening to the flute as its such a beautiful, uplifting sound. Congratulations on the musical accomplishments in your life.

SoT

[Associate of Daniel]

It's interesting, this decluttering thing.

Many people speak of the difficulties of decluttering sentimental items but I've found 2 other categories that I think I might be finding more difficult.

I have one shelf and one container full of home schooling supplies.  It's been over 10 years since I was homeschooling my ds (now 16). I just find it too painful to go through them.  The grief of not being able to homeschool (as a result of uNPD exH leaving) is still real all these years later.  Maybe I need counselling on this.  I dream of the (extremely unlikely) possibility that ds will want me to help homeschool his children one day, so I'm still tempted to keep the stuff.

The other category is the legal documents from the divorce and property settlement.

I have a large drawer in my Tall Boy in my bedroom which is stuffed full of them.  Solicitor's communications, bills and receipts, drafts of court orders, emails between me and uNPD exH, mediation and counselling documents...I don't really know what to keep and what to get rid of.

I want to empty the drawer and use it for its original purpose of storing clothes. I thought I could keep my undies in there as a symbol of the horrible stuff that they'd be replacing!

Anyway, I'm not sure of how you'd define these sub categories of clutter.  Not exactly sentimental as there is more grief attached to them than is usual with the label of "sentimental".

One day I'll get to them.  I am seriously thinking of reading up on Swedish Death Cleaning. It might motivate me.

AOD

[Associate of Daniel]

I just saw the number of views this thread has had:  Nearly 2 and 1/2 thousand!!!!!   What on earth?!?

AOD

[SonofThunder]

I just saw the number of views this thread has had:  Nearly 2 and 1/2 thousand!!!!!   What on earth?!?

AOD

You are providing great food-for-thought for the masses, my friend. Well done.

SoT