I guess a mild trigger warning, this has some reference to sexuality.
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I am not sure if this is normal behavior or a red flag.
When my child was under a year old, Child’s father would occasionally comment that when he was around Child, just seeing Child would remind him of “how [Child] was made”, and so he would mention having an erection.
Is this normal? I understand that erections can be badly timed and unwanted.
At the time, Child’s father was visiting about every other weekend, so it wasn’t a daily occurrence.
He does have some other unrelated issues, but I am trying to figure out which bits and pieces are normal and which are problematic, and this is one of those small pieces.
I think I am going to count it as a red flag. If it was just a poorly timed erection, I don't think it would have happened repeatedly under the same circumstances. Either way, he has too many other things that are easier to identify as red flags.
Very weird indeed if you ask me.....
Got to admit I've never thought like that to be honest. EVER.
Quote from: p123 on November 21, 2019, 05:15:05 AM
Very weird indeed if you ask me.....
Got to admit I've never thought like that to be honest. EVER.
Thank you so much for your thoughts. I did feel uncomfortable about it, and have been questioning it in my head since it happened. But I was unsure and didn't want to overreact.
+1. I also think that is strange.
Being around, looking at, holding, comforting my children has never once made me think of sex.
If that starting post isn't a wind up I'd report it to the police. Could you live with yourself if any harm came to your child? I couldn't.
Quote from: Crushed_Dad on November 27, 2019, 09:43:19 AM
If that starting post isn't a wind up I'd report it to the police. Could you live with yourself if any harm came to your child? I couldn't.
Thank you for your concern, your level of concern gives me needed insight. Child's father is not currently part of my child's life, so there is no current risk.
Quote from: sunflowerdust on November 20, 2019, 11:13:18 AM
I am not sure if this is normal behavior or a red flag.
Red flag. Having sexual responses to adults as an adult - normal. Sexual responses to children - not normal, unhealthy, and dangerous.
This coming from a dad, and someone who grew up in and around a FOO with sexual abuse and resulting PDs. I've been through a lot of therapy, and have kids, and as another poster mentioned have never had sexual feelings while looking at/ holding/ paying attention to kids.
I'd add that even not having direct physical sexual abuse, there's indirect sexual abuse - sexual shaming, sexualizing of behaviours as 2 examples. It used to drive me crazy mad when my little boy would be friendly to them and they'd say to him "oh you're such a flirt" and "you're so cute, maybe I'll save myself for you" that kind of thing. That's sexualizing of non-sexual innocent child behaviour and if left unchecked it can really add up.
my delayed 2c.