Anger Stage of Grief/Free Therapy Idea

[JustKeepTrying]

Last week I met with my T and I was so angry.  Just angry.  For some reason the anger kept bubbling up and coming out in weird ways - sideways and front and back and I was all over.  I have worked hard on being just open, direct and brutally honest with this T and she gave me some great advice I would like to share.

First, the anger is a stage of grief.  A stage of grief over the death of my marriage as well as mourning the estrangement with my DDs.  While the estrangement is getting better, the anger was still there. As well as anger with my ex and the manipulation.  Just lots of anger.  Apparently it's the last stage of grief before acceptance. 

Second, I was given homework and first I was to free write in my journal about the anger whenever I felt it.  Just really purge it out and bleed on the page.  Usually when I "bleed on the page" I feel better.  That purge is all I have needed in the past.  But this time there was still just too much anger.  So ...

Third, I was given more homework.  The assignment - buy several dozen eggs, get a magic marker and write on them what is making me angry.  Then chuck em at a tree.  Like really give it a good go.  Watch the egg break.  (On a side note, this is good for the environment and safer than break plates.)

So last night, on an expected trip to a funeral for a friend's newborn (yup, horrible)  I decided to camp nearby and do the egg thing.

Wow.  It really helped.  See those eggs fly with all the anger written on them.  Felt so good to let it out.  I ended the egg session with several moments of reading self affirmations; a prayer and long list of what I am grateful for - you guys were the list.  I felt so at peace at the end.  So there is my free therapy advice.   Try it sometime.

On a positive note, I watched a raccoon family come up and eat all the egg remnants.  Nice little bonus.

[StartingHealing]

Last week I met with my T and I was so angry.  Just angry.  For some reason the anger kept bubbling up and coming out in weird ways - sideways and front and back and I was all over.  I have worked hard on being just open, direct and brutally honest with this T and she gave me some great advice I would like to share.

First, the anger is a stage of grief.  A stage of grief over the death of my marriage as well as mourning the estrangement with my DDs.  While the estrangement is getting better, the anger was still there. As well as anger with my ex and the manipulation.  Just lots of anger.  Apparently it's the last stage of grief before acceptance. 

Second, I was given homework and first I was to free write in my journal about the anger whenever I felt it.  Just really purge it out and bleed on the page.  Usually when I "bleed on the page" I feel better.  That purge is all I have needed in the past.  But this time there was still just too much anger.  So ...

Third, I was given more homework.  The assignment - buy several dozen eggs, get a magic marker and write on them what is making me angry.  Then chuck em at a tree.  Like really give it a good go.  Watch the egg break.  (On a side note, this is good for the environment and safer than break plates.)

So last night, on an expected trip to a funeral for a friend's newborn (yup, horrible)  I decided to camp nearby and do the egg thing.

Wow.  It really helped.  See those eggs fly with all the anger written on them.  Felt so good to let it out.  I ended the egg session with several moments of reading self affirmations; a prayer and long list of what I am grateful for - you guys were the list.  I felt so at peace at the end.  So there is my free therapy advice.   Try it sometime.

On a positive note, I watched a raccoon family come up and eat all the egg remnants.  Nice little bonus.

Great Idea!  Thank you for sharing.

[pianissimo]

I can't do this where I am, but it's still therapeutic to know others here are dealing with anger too.

[JustKeepTrying]

pianissimo, user and starting healing,

I understand the anger coming out in weird ways.  Bubbling up at weird times.  My T just keeps encouraging me to feel it when it happens - allow it to happen, flow through and breath.  I'm not good at this yet but I am getting better at not reacting to it.  As I have learned on here, feelings are not always true, but darn it's hard when your washing the dishes and bam, something simple as a smell triggers you.

It is nice to know I'm not alone.

[Lauren17]

This is a fantastic idea. I'm going to remember that for future days.

This is silly, but I've been addressing my anger when it bubbles up.
"Oh, hello Anger. I haven't seen you in a couple of days. What's new?" 
Somehow, that helps me to sit with the feeling more easily.

[JustKeepTrying]

Lauren17 - I LOVE THAT!!!!  The snark in me just rolled with laughter