How do you let go?

[lookingforpeace]

I was reading a previous post about what % toxic is your PD parent and it really hit home.  In relation to this, how do you cope and not get sucked into the guilt when they are being kind? As the previous GC I was pretty close with my udBPD mother. Looking back I know that her dependence on me was very unhealthy but as a child/teen you take this attention as a compliment and feel good about helping your parent. After many years of trying to help her find solutions to her problems and absorbing much of her anxiety, depression and stress I realized she was BPD and started to distance myself and set boundaries. Of course she did not like this and now regularly pulls out the rage/witch when I enforce my boundaries. I have learned so much on this site but some days its just still hard- trying to separate the person from the illness. Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt when they are being nice but not getting sucked in because you know they will take full advantage of your kindness in no time! I know this is probably a rhetorical question but Im just feeling defeated today- we try to do what is best for our sanity but that FOG sometimes creeps in