I've been struggled with my hubby have nc with NMIL because I thought he was hiding and still afraid of her. We both decided she is never going to accept nc and as we live very close to NMIL I see her a lot. I don't purposely engage but respond rather than react to her tantrums.
NMIL phoned today and I was surprised when my hubby answered he usually sees her number and ignores it. But today he answered, she asked about meeting up with him and he said no. He was polite and to the point, I'm so pleased he can now just say no without having to explain himself or defend his need for space.
Obviously we are now aiming for vvvvvlc, of course she'll keep pushing and ignoring boundaries but hubby and I are finally on the same page.
That's really great progress!
It's funny how scary saying those two letters seems, isn't it? And then you do it once, and it's like the whole world shifts. That's it? All I had to do was say NO? :aaauuugh:
NO is a complete sentence.
Congratulations. We must never allow those who cannot reliably love us wrench us from those to whom we are mutually dedicated, and who can.
Congratulations, I am so glad that you and your husband are on the same page and he can politely say no to his mother. They tell us we can't say no and we can't have boundaries, but the truth is we are now adults and it is absolutely ok to set healthy boundaries.