Validating

[GentleSoul]

I have been avidly reading around this beautiful site.  The tools and the forum. 

My goodness, such validation for me.  So much confirmation that my perceptions are correct. I often doubt myself as my PD/alcoholic hubby sees the world in such a different way to me.  I worry that I am the one with distorted thinking.

Thank you everyone for all the contributions.

[coyote]

I'm so glad you have found this site useful.

[GentleSoul]

I'm so glad you have found this site useful.

Thank you, Coyote. 

[bloomie]

Grateful you are here and are finding validation and support.  Finding terms for common and perplexing experiences or patterns of dysfunctional behaviors in our loved ones that we have often felt so isolated in has been one of the most empowering things in my own healing journey. Finding community here with fellow travelers is strengthening and enlightening. Keep coming back and sharing! It really helps.

And I love your forum name. Beautiful!

[GentleSoul]

Grateful you are here and are finding validation and support.  Finding terms for common and perplexing experiences or patterns of dysfunctional behaviors in our loved ones that we have often felt so isolated in has been one of the most empowering things in my own healing journey. Finding community here with fellow travelers is strengthening and enlightening. Keep coming back and sharing! It really helps.

And I love your forum name. Beautiful!

Thank you, Bloomie for your kindness.  I am indeed finding it very empowering.  Sharing our common experiences feels like a weight lifting off me.

When I first started noticing my Hubby's unusual behaviours I felt so alone and, to be honest, scared.  I became angry too over time. It all felt very personal, that he was doing it to me on a personal level. That if he had a different wife, he wouldn't be acting this way.  I now understand it is his illness speaking and it would be as it is regardless of who he was married too.

With me setting firm boundaries our relationship is so much better now.  I have zero tolerance to abuse of any sort from him.   Equally important, I treat him with respect and pleasantness, I never raise my voice to him or am rude at all.   This feels important to me.  My self esteem would drop if I was rude to him.

I was so angry at myself for getting with a man with all these problems, along with the daily heavy drinking.  However I am kind to myself about it now.  I can see I was attracted to what I knew.  What I grew up with.  Hence why now I am working hard on myself (and very much enjoying it) to change. 

Glad to be here.  It feels a safe place to discuss and to grow. 

I very much like the 12 steps of recovery to help me uncover and discard then replace unhelpful behaviours in me.   The program fills me with joy and hope.