Talked to PDmom on the phone today. It wasn't so bad, just predictable. So much so that I end up tuning out during most of her spiels, like when she starts ranting about the "a$$hole" of the week. An hour later and I can't remember who this week's a-hole even was.
I told my husband if I made up bingo cards with all of her predictable topics, I guarantee I'd get a bingo every phone call (which I limit to 25-30 minutes max, mind you). We had fun coming up with one for my mom and one for PDmil.
So here's what I've got so far for my "PDmom Phone Call Bingo" card:
- calling someone an a-hole
- complaining about one of her neighbors
- in-depth synopsis of the book she's currently reading
- recap of volunteer group #1
- recap of volunteer group #2
- complaining about my brother
- golden child comments about my SIL
- you know what ____ is, dont you? (followed by an explanation even when I say "yes.")
- any statement of hyperbole
- comments about how much she pities my aunt
- political rant
- melodramatically apologizing for the state of the world, as if she is personally responsible
What's on your PD bingo card?
Hi Cat, I'll play:
1. Her next car
2. How much her employees love her
3. How the shop attendant can do a better job
4. How awful ex-husbands are
5. What a special relationship we have
6. What to do with all her clothes
7. What is wrong with left-wing politics
8. How much she loves her vacation homes
9. How wonderful it is that we have such a special relationship when other daughters are so horrid to their mothers
10. How horrible exhusbands are
BINGO
Omg, I'll play but I have to go to work first. Will be useful for the Xmas period!
This is great Cat! Here's mine:
1. My doctor wants me to have a test, I should do it
2. The vaccines _________
3. Joe Biden ___________
4. Dr Fauci ___________
5. The vaccines part 2 _____________
6. A neighbor didn't wave at me
7. I had to call and argue about a bill
8. I'm on a fixed income
9. The vaccine part 3 ___________
I'm not going to type what she thinks of these topics because they're very divisive.
Aren't they special? :blink:
Leonor, I keep chuckling at "her
next car." It implies OH so much. :rofl:
Quote from: SunnyMeadow on December 06, 2021, 09:31:18 AM
6. A neighbor didn't wave at me
7. I had to call and argue about a bill
Adding these to my husband's bingo card for PDmil!
I am going to make a bingo card for my DH. When I am on the phone with mom, and he hears the following, he gets to cover a spot on his bingo card:
1. It's a workday, I can't spend the afternoon at the Dollar Tree.
2. I'm sure there are some nice people in senior living.
3. No, you should never drive again.
4. Ok, fine, figure out how to get yourself to the dealership and buy a car, I don't care.
5. Well, yes, that does sound like quite a few trips to the bathroom.
6. There must be something you like to eat on the menu. Order a grilled cheese if you have to.
7. It's just a rash, put some cream on it.
8. When you delete a text, you have deleted the picture. If you want to save the picture, you need to do that first.
9. You don't need your eyebrows waxed. Nobody needs their eyebrows waxed that often.
10. Don't call your sister if you're just going to fight with her. Yes, I'm sure it's all her fault. Just stop calling her.
While I'm NC, I think this is a good reminder:
1. Health Problem A
2. Health Problem B
3. Health Problem C
4. Nobody's on my side
5. Nobody loves me
6. Your father doesn't give me enough alimony (it's like five times what's normal)
7. My family aren't being nice to me (gee I wonder why)
8. Politics
9. Doctor visits (yes, plural)
10. Fell again, still not using the cane.
11. I could have had children! ( :mad:)
Quote from: Sneezy on December 06, 2021, 10:20:47 AM
I am going to make a bingo card for my DH. When I am on the phone with mom, and he hears the following, he gets to cover a spot on his bingo card:
;D this seriously made me laugh out loud!
This post made me smile - thanks!! Here's the start of my card:
-a friend's health problem in detail
-her dog's health problems in detail
-her list of dr's appointments
-complain about a neighbor
-a tale about how she's the only one doing something kind for _____ (fill in the blank)
-responding to something I say about my kids with something I did or she did as a child
-ask me if I still like _______ like I did when I was a kid
-who did her wrong or has it out for her this time
-complain about my kids not calling her or texting her back
Health obsessed or what !
My bingo card was filled almost every phone call and in the same sequence:
Comment how long (and would provide the date!) since my last call
Her excruciating knee pain
She's not getting around wellI have no idea what she's dealing with (didn't elaborate when asked for more information)
You/I dont care about anyone but your/myself
She heard from (names brother, last contact from them)
She hasn't heard from (names brother) in so long
Why it's somehow my fault whoever hasn't contacted her
What is that dog barking at now
There's a car turning around in her driveway
She needs to let dog out
Attempts to deflect to actual conversation were ignored. She'd cycle through her topics and the call was over, would cut me off mid sentence when her limit was reached.
BINGO!
I love this! I'll play:
1. My latest health problem is...
2.Your father won't give me enough money for...
3. Your father spends too much money on...
4. Your father's a hypochondriac. I'm the one who's sick with...
5. As President of the Homeowners Association, I'm in charge of...
6. As a volunteer at the police station, I'm in charge of...
7. Your GC brother is so successful he's buying...
8. Your GC brother's wife is so evil she did...
9. Your sister is so ugly/stupid/worthless she failed at...
10. Did I mention that I'm sick with ( ) and may even die?
My mother died before COVID. I can only imagine what I would have heard in 2021.
Quote from: moglow on December 08, 2021, 01:13:02 PM
Comment how long (and would provide the date!) since my last call
I need to add my mom's version of this to my card. It's usually something along the lines of answering my call with, "Oh, it's ACTUALLY YOU." The implication being that she can't believe I'm
actually calling, because I
never do. :roll:
Husband is on the phone with PDmil as I type this, and I realize I need to take Sneezy's idea and make myself a card for his calls. I already know my first square will be that he gets out a single word at the beginning of the call ("Hey.") and then goes silent for at least 30 seconds because she's already grabbed the reins of the conversation and is off to the races. HE CALLED HER!
It used to be that every phone call my H made to his mother started wxactly like this:
H: Hi mom.
MIL: (blows out a MASSIVE sigh of disappointment). You were supposed to call last Sunday.
H: Yeah, sorry mom.
And from there I would just hear "yeah.... sorry about that mom.... I know.... Yeah.... Sorry...." for like five damn minutes until she moved on to her health and whatever else.
All phone calls lasted as long as SHE wanted. If he said he had to go, which was hard by itself getting a word in edgewise, she would take her SWEET time wrapping it up.
If she felt rushed to end the call, she would SCHEDULE another call for tomorrow night. And that call will also last as long as she wants (usually one hour to an hour and a half). So he would usually just suffer rather than double the agony.
He now only does 2-3 calls a year, wonder why? She stopped the five minutes of skewering him at the beginning (after he told her how it made him call less not more) but it still lasts as long as she likes and getting her off is Olympic work. I usually do something like shout DINNER! or DD NEEDS YOUR HELP WITH HOMEWORK!! eventually (really loud so it interrupts her flow). Even then, a full five minutes to wrap it up. (Note, my shouts are always totally made up lol).
And after a call with her, he is usually just kind of reeling. I feel like most people wouldn't get why - the call will seem pleasant enough. But wxhausting, because she is like a steamroller, and you always have to kind of check everything you say lest you fall into some trap, and it's also not really a conversation. And it lasts sooooo loooong.
Yep to all of that, square. The first words he utters after a call with her are almost always, "She is so insane." and then "I tried to get off the phone thirty minutes ago."
:yeahthat: Yep, all of that. Even when the call doesnt last long, it can be exhausting.
One of the last things I said to mine was a deadpanned, always a joy to hear from you mother. 🙄
NC since 2017 but feeling a bit of the holly-wobbles, so I’ll play too.
-“Hello, stranger!” or “It’s so good to hear your voice,” guilt trip for not calling as much as they would want. Phone works both ways, dad.
-Not being able to get a word in edgewise about my own life or the grandkids.
-Digs against their wildly inaccurate caricature of my politics.
-“I’m so indispensable at my job that teenagers are also hired to do and I’ve only been doing a short time. Seriously it’s a miracle they kept the lights on in that place before I arrived.”
-OR “I need to quit. The pay isn’t worth the stress of running that place.”
-Either way, I should also stop being a SAHM and homeschooling to work for minimum wage.
-This other kid the same age as my son. She’s helped him so much and his family is so grateful to her.
-Too busy to visit.
-Her life is so stressful.
-They wish they could see us more.
-We just took a day off to do nothing or visit these other people.
-Her health problems, curiously similar to mine but oh so much worse.
-They’re so broke.
-“I work so hard I treated myself to a shopping spree.”
-Attempting to offload junk I don’t want on me.
-Withholding stuff I do want.
-Complaints about my siblings and their SO’s.
-Excessive detail of his workout routine and how cool the other folks at the gym think he is.
-Quasi locally famous person at the gym gets name dropped.
-“I ran into your ex boyfriend.”
-Refers to my husband by ex’s name.
-Avoids calling my kids by the names we have given them.
-I try again to share something going on with ME. “Well, I’ll let you go… (heavy sigh)”
I would do it deliberately by the end! For all of you stuck on the phone, the golden key is to insist on talking about YOU. :evil2:
This is all so wonderful, I'm laughing so much I had to stop trying to eat while reading.
------------
Email bingo, easily could have been on phone:
The stray cats they are feeding are having kittens on porch, they could ask local cat rescue for help but *yadda yadda yadda*
Hopes the ex divorced years ago is suffering
Fell/tripped/is sick. Injured, even bloody. (but has excellent health insurance, never bothered to tell me the rest of the stories, even when asked)
Something is "disgusting"
Better at most everything and most everyone is somehow out to get them
Something is broken, sick, limping, plugged, malfunctioning, criminal, dangerous, overwhelming, crowded, and mysteriously usually unfixable
Quote from: Call Me Cordelia on December 09, 2021, 02:37:41 AM
-Excessive detail of his workout routine and how cool the other folks at the gym think he is.
REALLY?????? 🤣
Really really!
The gym was massive supply. This is hardly a bingo because it happened one time but: listing names of people at the gym as suggestions for my unborn child’s name.
And no I didn’t make that one up, either!
Good lord. I thought it was bad when PDmom asked me if I knew what my brother was naming his firstborn:
Me: He told me they were thinking of naming him [TOTALLY NORMAL, PERFECTLY FINE NAME].
Mom: Yes, that's what he told me, but I don't believe that's actually the name. He just said that to annoy me.
Me: ?????????????
No idea what her problem was with the name. And she'd probably deny this conversation now because they did in fact name him that, and now she has to give him the full GC treatment.
Phone call with mum
Me "Can you make a list of the things you do don't eat so I can plan meals when you come?"
Mum: I can't do that. I haven't got the time. (She does nothing btw)
Me: OK, I know you don't eat X, Y and Z
Mum: Oh I do now. Since I've been taking tumeric I can eat anything.
This goes on for some time.
Mum: I'm sorry to be so much trouble.
Full metal waif BINGO!
Quote from: Call Me Cordelia on December 09, 2021, 02:37:41 AM
-Attempting to offload junk I don't want on me.
-Withholding stuff I do want.
Hahahhahahha. So true!
For over a decade my mom wouldn't give me a movie that had been a birthday present to me from her. She said it belonged to her even though I have a vivid memory of unwrapping it, and it came with the soundtrack, which I still have. The kicker? My mom proudly "doesn't watch television." She employs her time more wisely to higher pursuits.
But the amount of broken junk she's unloaded on me over the years is insane.
Also, she recently offered to give me the movie. It was clearly an attempt to reel me back in.
Those are two very good ones. PDmom and PDmil constantly try to bait us with stuff. Thankfully, neither one of them actually knows us well enough to figure out what we'd actually want, so the bait is usually an easy, "No thanks."
1) Excessively talking about the business she started (she's a life coach...yikes) and how successful it is. Bonus points if she talks about how much money she makes.
2) "You need to come visit me"
3) Her partner and how much she loves/hates her (depending on the day)
4) Whatever body part, "trauma", or memory is causing her pain that day
5) Me: Say something about myself
Her: Make what I just said about her
6) Bringing up painful memories (that are her fault) from the past and insisting we "work through" them and getting angry when I say I don't want to
7) Crying
Not every time, but I must include
8) Going absolutely ballistic and telling me I am cruel, have no compassion, and that she has to "walk on eggshells" around me :stars:
Quote from: Cat of the Canals on December 11, 2021, 01:27:01 PM
Those are two very good ones. PDmom and PDmil constantly try to bait us with stuff. Thankfully, neither one of them actually knows us well enough to figure out what we'd actually want, so the bait is usually an easy, "No thanks."
For me, the offers have gotten better as I've moved away emotionally. My mom has always employed tears, which worked for many years. I have eliminated teary exchanges by engaging only over email or visits where my children are present. She has sent emotional emails asking for the chance to deliver more tears. I have declined. Suddenly, that movie I wanted over 10 years ago is available. I replaced it already. Suddenly, the board game that belonged to my great-grandmother that my mom doesn't play but didn't want to give me is also available. Well, I bought that too. Suddenly, she wants to "understand" me. Seriously. The thing I most want from the universe. It's kinda like she knew what I wanted all along.
Quote from: junedee on December 15, 2021, 06:51:32 PM
5) Me: Say something about myself
Her: Make what I just said about her
6) Bringing up painful memories (that are her fault) from the past and insisting we "work through" them and getting angry when I say I don't want to
7) Crying
These three are hugely relatable. Sorry your mom does this.
Quote from: WinterStar on December 09, 2021, 07:52:02 PM
My mom proudly "doesn't watch television." She employs her time more wisely to higher pursuits.
My mother made the same claim. Even though she watched countless hours of network television, she always told others that she didn't watch television at all, and if she did, she would only watch PBS because they had "educational" programming. ::)
Quote from: WinterStar on December 15, 2021, 10:50:46 PM
Suddenly, that movie I wanted over 10 years ago is available. I replaced it already. Suddenly, the board game that belonged to my great-grandmother that my mom doesn't play but didn't want to give me is also available. Well, I bought that too. Suddenly, she wants to "understand" me. Seriously. The thing I most want from the universe. It's kinda like she knew what I wanted all along.
I quit asking my mother for pretty much anything as a child. She never honored my requests, so I realized I was better off not setting myself up for disappointment. I suspect this is the only thing that's kept me safe from this.
There are a few things I wanted from my grandmother. One was a fur coat (at the time, I was a teenager and the idea of a fancy fur coat seemed novel and hilarious). I got that. Mom kept it for me since I was going to college. A few years ago I suggested trying to sell it on Etsy or Ebay. Mom got it out, had my SIL try it on, and then announced, "OH IT FITS YOU SO PERFECTLY, YOU SHOULD KEEP IT!" I mean, if SIL wanted it (she didn't because WHO ACTUALLY WANTS A FUR COAT?), I would have gladly let her have it, but it
is mine, and my mother didn't even
pretend to ask me if she could give it away.
The other item was one of my grandmother's rings. It was actually the only thing I truly wanted. My aunt claimed it, and that's fine -- it was her mother, after all. But I wouldn't be surprise if when my aunt passes, my mom suddenly wants to make me jump through some kind of hoop for the ring (my aunt has no children and has already told us everything will be left to me, my mom, and my brother).
Trying to come up with a bingo card that may contain other "letters" (you all have done a fabulous job of covering so many!)..here goes...
1. "haven't heard from you in a while..."
2. latest trip to deep discount store
3. latest netflix series
4. latest book that has been read
5. complaint about another sibling who is in contact with her
6. complaint about another sibling who is not in contact with her
7. complaint about spouse
8. complaint about home maintenance items / expense of them
9. disappointment in me over (fill in the blank)
10. NOT ASKING ONE QUESTION ABOUT ME / my spouse / life (bonus points for this one)
Wow...so enlightening that the conversations at not just a tired broken record on eternal repeat..and that the "hit list" is so "all about her".....
everyone, please have a relaxing, safe and sane holiday!
Quote from: DM178 on December 18, 2021, 02:23:11 PM
1. "haven't heard from you in a while..."
2. latest trip to deep discount store
3. latest netflix series
4. latest book that has been read
5. complaint about another sibling who is in contact with her
6. complaint about another sibling who is not in contact with her
7. complaint about spouse
8. complaint about home maintenance items / expense of them
9. disappointment in me over (fill in the blank)
10. NOT ASKING ONE QUESTION ABOUT ME / my spouse / life (bonus points for this one)
everyone, please have a relaxing, safe and sane holiday!
Same to you DM178! I'm always relieved when all the guilt inducing holidays are over.
I could easily add all 10 of your bingo card items to my own, I've heard them all over and over. You're right, they are all broken records of me, me, me.
NC now
however, topics included:
1) don't feel well (always first thing said)
2) detailed discussion of sickness such as #times of runny butt
seriously it was 19X once....who counts that yuk!
3) going on and on about grandchild #1 and all their accomplishments (child of GC)
4) list of all appts coming up....Dr, dentist, specialist, etc
5) all the things breaking down in house & can husband come over to fix?
forgot to add for bingo board:
asked about their grandchild (our child) ?
*never*
1. sigh
2. criticizes my sister's parenting
3. how she's going to stop taking on clients/projects to have more time for what's important
4. how she just got hired by new clients who want her work so bad
5. where they've been traveling or going to next
6. how the airline screwed her over
7. complain about heart condition
8. share most recent trip to ER
9. comment on her aging
10. if we both start talking at the same time, SHE will be first to continue.
11. gushing about me (idealization/idolizing)
12. trying to find out if we did anything with my father (her ex) or in-laws
13. spilling gossip about dysfunctional family or friends in her home-state
14. starting off convo asking how I am, which is feigned interest and no other questions will be asked about our me or kids
15. how she has really reconnected with a relationship
16. complain about her husband
17. "I don't mean to bore you, but..."
18. some reference to Murphy's law happening to her
So funny.
It's been so many years of NC that I'm hard pressed remembering the content of the phone calls, just the horrible feeling in my stomach when they happened.
My contribution that DH commented on is this:
Very wealthy & well-travelled sister (who had a nappy service, a live-in nanny, and a range of staff to do every little thing for her would constantly wail 'I haven't had a holiday for X number of years.'
X being current age of eldest child.
DH got so sick of hearing this - given that this was always preceded by how exhausted they were after their stay at X resort (including the Hotel Versace) that he threatened to ask to see her passport.
Boggling, the complete disconnect.
Yep same for me EVERY CALL
1. How ill he is.
2. How depressed he is.
3. How hes got no food in the house.
4. Got a letter from bank saying "changes to terms and conditions. What does that mean? (What do you reckon?)
5. Have you got a proper job yet?
6. Why not get a job in a factory and not mess around trying to be a manager in an office? (I've never ever been a manager - I work as an IT consultant!)
7. Ends up with "hows the familty?"
The last one is hilarious. He doesnt think I've seen the note he leaves for himself by the phone which says "Ask about family" in big letters. Shows how much he cares he does it out of duty!
Quote from: SunnyMeadow on December 06, 2021, 09:31:18 AM
This is great Cat! Here's mine:
1. My doctor wants me to have a test, I should do it
2. The vaccines _________
3. Joe Biden ___________
4. Dr Fauci ___________
5. The vaccines part 2 _____________
6. A neighbor didn't wave at me
7. I had to call and argue about a bill
8. I'm on a fixed income
9. The vaccine part 3 ___________
I'm not going to type what she thinks of these topics because they're very divisive.
Aren't they special? :blink:
I'm on the phone with her right now and I just got the spiel on vaccines, Fauci, some guy's book on the
truth about vaccines :roll: , How nobody thinks about her during her stressful times. :dramaqueen:
I'm holding the phone away from my ear most of the call. I only have to reply hmm-hmm and oh really? God I hate this SO MUCH.
:hulk:
Learn to invent "emergencies" a la Woman Interrupted: the cat is on fire again, gotta go byeeeeeeee! Be nice but be firm, the call is OVER.
I would use, "Oh, this is my doctor's office calling."
Then next time, "What did the doctor say?!?!"
Here's some MIL phrases from our uPD bingo card:
1) Did you hear about...(insert disaster, death, illness, tragedy , random gossip, problem with neighbor,+ relative gory/disturbing details
here)? Oh it's so terrible, such a tragedy, I feel so sorry ...
2) I have to do everything around the house...My bones ache and I never have time to rest.
3) I just had to chase the animals out of the house. All they do is track dirt in the house.
4) Have you called (insert name of relative/family friend here)?
5) You have to do it like this (insert directions for obviously simple task here)?
6) I saw (insert name of elderly person here) and they are in such bad shape. Their children do nothing to help. It's such a shame.
7) A Mother's life is nothing but sacrifice (insert story of a Mother's suffering here.)
8) (Insert name of dead relative/friend here) they suffered so so much. See what happens when we get old and sick, no one lifts a finger to
help.
9) I went to the cemetery to place flowers, clean the tombs of family of friends. If I don't do it no one will.
10) You need to think about things/proceed this way (insert ridiculous or inapproriate piece of advice or philosophy here).
11) Did you hear about how terrible (insert name of adult relative/friend or child of adult relative/friend here) is behaving? (Insert name of
adult child's Mother here), They are so distraught. You have children and this is what happens when they grow up...
12) Did you hear about (insert social problem or other here). It's all the fault of (insert scapegoat here).
13) FIL is always going to (insert name of social activity here), he never stays home where he belongs.
14) FIL is such a cretin/imbecile, he can't to anything right.
15) BIL is always hiding, lazy, doesn't want to talk to us, all he does is eat and sleep these days.
16) I am exhausted, I was up worrying all night about (insert family member or problem here.)
17) People are exaggerating the virus. Only no vax people die. Don't "get sick" worrying about it.
18) I never see my Son (DH). "You spend half your life making a Son, and the other half trying to find them."...starts crying...
19) Each one does the best they can (after MIL hears some good news/something positive on our part).
20) That's life, we live and we die (after hearing about sad news, death or tragedy in our sphere)
21) Did you see ____'s baby, so so beautiful. There's nothing like the feeling of holding a newborn. I'll never be a Grandmother...
22) I called both of your cell phones and the landline and you didn't pick up. Oh, you were eating? I eat with my hands, not with my ears...(or
other comment on why we should be answering the phone.)
(This is turning into a long rant, stopping at 22...)
Yesterday I insisted that we call MIL because I wanted to be prepared for/get it over with.
We don't have spontaneous phone calls. If she calls randomly we pick up knowing what we are in for.
DH was annoyed because he didn't want to hear it. We finally agreed and had the phone call (bingo!), then went for a walk and felt better. Now looking forward to a peaceful Sunday (fingers crossed)...
Most of the time I am able to roll my eyes at my mother's silly nonsense. I've even written that she's fading into the background of people who matter in my life. Plus she rarely bothers me as I medium chill and gray rock through her phone calls and visits. But yesterday on the phone with her and her PD phone call BINGO it almost made the top of my head blow off. My stomach was in knots because I can't believe what she's turned into!! She can NOT discuss anything besides her pet topics of the vaccines and all that goes along with it. It's maddening. She's become completely brainwashed and if I offer my point of view...watch out! She will talk louder and say Oh that's not true! Can't listen to any other person's opinion because she is always right, always! :mad:
She has three big topics that she blabs on about constantly. What a boring, predictable woman she is now. She used to have other things to talk about. I give her a certain amount of time then I say I have to go. Within 3 minutes of the start of this call though .......she starts on her predictable topics over and over. >:(
It's no wonder she has no one to talk to in the neighborhood. They probably peek outside to see if she is around before they walk outside.
Sorry for the thread hijack but I needed to vent. I'm sure I'll reread this post a few times in the future and wonder why the hell I'm still bothering with her. Stupid FOG
bee well, what a bingo list of your mother's topics. :doh:
My mother does the "those children do nothing to help" too or "those children call and see their mother everyday!" You just can't win with them.
Quote from: bee well on January 09, 2022, 03:34:49 AM
Here's some MIL phrases from our uPD bingo card:
1) Did you hear about...(insert disaster, death, illness, tragedy , random gossip, problem with neighbor,+ relative gory/disturbing details
here)? Oh it's so terrible, such a tragedy, I feel so sorry ...
2) I have to do everything around the house...My bones ache and I never have time to rest.
3) I just had to chase the animals out of the house. All they do is track dirt in the house.
4) Have you called (insert name of relative/family friend here)?
5) You have to do it like this (insert directions for obviously simple task here)?
6) I saw (insert name of elderly person here) and they are in such bad shape. Their children do nothing to help. It's such a shame.
7) A Mother's life is nothing but sacrifice (insert story of a Mother's suffering here.)
8) (Insert name of dead relative/friend here) they suffered so so much. See what happens when we get old and sick, no one lifts a finger to
help.
9) I went to the cemetery to place flowers, clean the tombs of family of friends. If I don't do it no one will.
10) You need to think about things/proceed this way (insert ridiculous or inapproriate piece of advice or philosophy here).
11) Did you hear about how terrible (insert name of adult relative/friend or child of adult relative/friend here) is behaving? (Insert name of
adult child's Mother here), They are so distraught. You have children and this is what happens when they grow up...
12) Did you hear about (insert social problem or other here). It's all the fault of (insert scapegoat here).
13) FIL is always going to (insert name of social activity here), he never stays home where he belongs.
14) FIL is such a cretin/imbecile, he can't to anything right.
15) BIL is always hiding, lazy, doesn't want to talk to us, all he does is eat and sleep these days.
16) I am exhausted, I was up worrying all night about (insert family member or problem here.)
17) People are exaggerating the virus. Only no vax people die. Don't "get sick" worrying about it.
18) I never see my Son (DH). "You spend half your life making a Son, and the other half trying to find them."...starts crying...
19) Each one does the best they can (after MIL hears some good news/something positive on our part).
20) That's life, we live and we die (after hearing about sad news, death or tragedy in our sphere)
21) Did you see ____'s baby, so so beautiful. There's nothing like the feeling of holding a newborn. I'll never be a Grandmother...
22) I called both of your cell phones and the landline and you didn't pick up. Oh, you were eating? I eat with my hands, not with my ears...(or
other comment on why we should be answering the phone.)
I think we have the same MIL. :aaauuugh:
Yeah, looks like a lot of us have the same MIL...! There must be a (u)PD MIL factory somewhere. :stars:
I think this is a great exercise:
How the weather where she lives is worse than mine.
Whine about money (in an effort to get money out of me).
Shout at her dogs for doing nothing at all.
Something specific in her house needs to be fixed.
Some minor health problem blown out of proportion.
Complain about my disabled brother.
Complain about her disabled brother.
Spelling the name of a person I have never and will never meet.
A rundown on everything her volunteer group plans to do in the near future.
Gossiping about her friends and their lack of dedication to volunteering.
Praising people I've never heard of or never met before.
Complaining that she has to pay for medical care for her pets.
Griping about her dogs like they are the bain of her existence.
Telling me everything her ex-boyfriend has done in the last 72 hours. (He lives across the street from her)
Talking trash about his new girlfriend.
The distant "mmm-mhmm" that shows she's not listening to me even if I only say one single sentence the whole time.
Quote from: bee well on January 10, 2022, 10:17:35 AM
Yeah, looks like a lot of us have the same MIL...! There must be a (u)PD MIL factory somewhere. :stars:
One that's belching toxic fumes and polluting the ground water
Yeah Boat Babe, that pretty much sums it up.
"One that's belching toxic fumes and polluting the ground water.." That is an appropriate image..it sounds like a line from the Divine Comedy.
I find it helpful to come back and read, and remind myself how absurd it all is. My bingo card remains mostly the same except MIL is even more in scarcity mode (When was that not a thing? She is quite frequently worried about not having enough. and yet things are ok!), She is of the idea that even short term plans are threatened by the global situation. (Like who knows maybe you won't be able to come for the next holiday, because of X. It's only a few weeks away for crying out loud! The global situation is very sad and am in no way negating or diminishing the harsh reality of the moment. But I think it is hyperbole to confuse our family situation with those who are suffering so direly and directly in many parts. We are not restricted in movement, and she acts like the world is ending tomorrow. It's just more drama...I will be glad to get through the next visit.
Oh and did I mention she complains about health but doesn't take care of her self? I have my own issues but have decided I am better off not sharing anything with her about that.
Rant over here but yeah, a lot of us do still have similar MILs. I salute you,
Have a good day and live in the moment, whenever possibile.
My husband and I are attempting to go no-contact with them for the moment but here's some ones over the years:
My MIL is notorious for having the same 5-6 topics of conversation whenever you go to her house. Her son's have had a running joke about this for years.
1. How HARD she works at her mother's house. Her mother uses a cane and has some mobility issues so MIL goes over to help her clean up around the house and takes her to Dr appointments. To hear her talk, you'd think she just came back from her 2nd tour in Afghanistan. This is coming from the woman who complains nobody else ever works hard enough for her standards.
2. How none of her kids(mostly my husband) call/text her back enough. That seems to be a popular one on here in PD bingo. We live so close why don't we come over more! The least we could do is call/text!
3. Her cousins in Luxembourg! This one is the most notorious amongst her children. She did some genealogy research years ago and got in contact with a cousin she has in Luxembourg. They email each other from time to time but that's mostly it. However, she always finds a way to mention this guy! She also will tell the story again as if none of us had ever heard it before when it gets mentioned every other time we went over!
4. How the pandemic personally just victimized HER. Nobody else is suffering, nobody else went though hardships from this just her. She can't see the effect it's had on her own children nor does she really care. The woman is a professional victim.
5. "I'm still friends with the little girls I grew up with down the street". MIL has this small group of girlfriends she's known since childhood. She talks about them constantly! They barely see each other in person anymore and mostly just call/text. She gives us these constant updates on their lives..and to be blunt..We really don't care. These are people I have met a handful of times! My husband says she has nothing going on for herself so she has to live vicariously through others! Oh and her friends kids and how much better they are than her own kids. Oh this one is a doctor! Oh this one is going for their Masters blah blah blah.WE DON'T CARE!
6. And finally, endless interrogations about our lives and jobs. When are we getting a better job? Can we get a promotion? Oh it's been 6 months and no pay raise?? Better look for something better. Then she'll mention her own good-for-nothing husband and how he's constantly searching for a better job(just to appease her, he's a total flying monkey). She'll ask about our lives and when we tell her oh we went on a trip to this place, she gives you this weird question look and say "oh that's nice, you should go here next time it's so great blah blah blah. And interestingly the places she suggests are always places she's been of course! We have to live our lives exactly the way she does! God forbid we go to new places!
She wonders why no one wants to visit her, let alone call or text! I enjoyed reading all these..it's amazing all of the same crap we all have to deal with!!
Quote from: donutmoonpanda on March 29, 2022, 04:44:20 PM
Spelling the name of a person I have never and will never meet.
This one made me snort. OMG. One of those "My PDmom and PDmil have never done it, but I can totally imagine them doing it" things
KatKp29, your list sounds so much like my MIL. Hers is how hard she works at her in-law's house (they pay her to clean their house), and then she bemoans that "I guess no one will do this for me when I'm old." Quick! Someone call the waaaaaambulance, she's having a waif attack!
It is cold where they live. A lot. They like to brag marter about it.
A whole Bingo row would be weather . "You know it was 4 degress (square) here last night and it's inly October. (Square) How cold is it there 50 degrees? (Square) We had a foot of snow (square). You don't get snow. (NO i don't and don't want to) BINGO!