Trying to get over it

[Roza]

My narc mom, narc sister and me. I am trying to fix myself. I just want to be happy again.  Watched  a few Jerry Wise videos that have helped. I  am reading more on this subject.  Please let me know if this is something that I can get over. I want to fix myself.  Trying to understand that its not selfish to do that. What else can I do to help myself?  My siblings are not to be trusted, they want me to stay in my SG role and don't like the happy me. They said they are my rock, my support system and that I can count on them. I don't feel it from them. My DH and kids are all I have with my T. Just looking for ideas what works to get over these feelings.

[bloomie]

Roza - sometimes it feels like our feelings are bigger than we are. Sometimes it seems like the intensity and the angst will never go away. Sometimes resisting the feelings only intensifies my own focus on them.

The only way I know to get to a better spot when family of origin relationships come apart is to move through the feelings, honor them, listen to what they are telling us and work with them instead of against them.

The work of Karla Mclaren has been key for me. Her book: The Language of Emotions, is a great help. Some more info found here: https://www.karlamclaren.com/start-here/

Sometimes we aren't going to get over it I have found. We are going to get through it. We are going to heal, adjust, find peace. It will get better. Keep doing the good work you are doing in your life.

[PeanutButter]

My narc mom, narc sister and me. I am trying to fix myself. I just want to be happy again.  Watched  a few Jerry Wise videos that have helped. I  am reading more on this subject.  Please let me know if this is something that I can get over. I want to fix myself.  Trying to understand that its not selfish to do that. What else can I do to help myself?  My siblings are not to be trusted, they want me to stay in my SG role and don't like the happy me. They said they are my rock, my support system and that I can count on them. I don't feel it from them. My DH and kids are all I have with my T. Just looking for ideas what works to get over these feelings.

I love what Bloomie said. So wise.
I have learned ALOT from Bloomie! And many others here because I read through the thread titles each day. Any that seem even slightly relevant to me, I read. I have been doing this for quite some time before I ever participated. Its validation.
At bedtime each night I wear ear phones and listen to binural beats and isochronic tones to enhance a meditative state (controlled breathing). I use to have severe insomnia; ruminating instead of sleeping, and nighmares when i did sleep. I am sleeping so much better now. Since Im rested every day stresses are easier to handle.
Each morning I 'sit for a session' (watch a video) with jerry wise. Im glad you checked him out and it helped!
I still feel stuck too, some days are worse than others. I have accepted that I may have these feelings for a long time. Afterall this was the most important, influential, and painful relationship in my life for so long. (My ubpdMother)
But its getting better. Slowly. ei: Just when I thought I would be angry at her forever, i realized when I think about her sometimes it not anger im feeling now, but sadness. Yay progress!
Roza I absolutely beleive you can heal, move through, and let go of these feelings. You have already made such courageous steps in your journey. Keep up what you are doing. Keep listening to your body and your instincts. Dont allow any guilt for choosing the safety and happiness for you and your FOC first before everything else!  You can do this. You ARE doing this!
Close your eyes after you read the last sentence of my post. Picture Roza as the child age when she first remembers the rejection instead of love from her M and S. Picture yourself as adult Roza hugging her. Tell her that its is ok that she is mad and sad, that you love her and will be there for her as long as she needs to grieve.

[Roza]

I feel so blessed to have found this forum. I felt I was the only person to have had these kinds of problems. Thank you for your kind words.  I am taking it all in and I hope to get back to semi normal.

[bunnie]

It helps me to remember that I am not the situation or problem.  I am much more than what I am having to cope with.