Hello

[Songwriter]

Hello. My 19yr old child w BPD went to therapy for a year program. Compared to all others I would call her BPD lite based on what I noticed but I've also learned there's no way to really know how they think and when their lying. Anyways, she came home for 2 months before going back to start college. 1 week before she went back to old bad habits on online social media, met a guy and left. Haven't seen or heard from her since except I email her once a week & she responds she's OK. My counselor and that place where she was has a support group, both say to have 0 expectations. I sacrificed all of her life in court for her trying to get her sociopath mother away. Her mom abducted her at 6yrs old, brainwashed & eventually abounded her at 12yrs old. Everything I've read in any forum ends in disaster so far:(

[Starboard Song]

Welcome to Out of the FOG. We get it.

Not every story ends in disaster, but that's not a terrible mindset, to be honest. It ain't likely to be Unicorns & Rainbows, right?

You seem to be doing the right things right now: maintaining proof-of-life contact, checking in, but also laying back and giving her space. One thing I encourage you to do -- if you need to hear this -- is to make a project of your own health and happiness. If her health and happiness is your project, you'll have expectations and they'll be dependent on a person you believe may have BPD. If your own health and happiness is a project for you, you will still be able to care for her and be there for her as necessary, and you'll be at your own best.

Welcome to these pages, and we all will look forward to seeing you on the topical boards... The Parents Discussion is your friend, as is the Toolbox.

[bloomie]

Songwriter - adding another warm welcome to you! My heart is heavy thinking of the journey you and your DD have been on. How noble to have fought so hard for her health and well being. How wise to understand that you have given her the best tools and help and opportunity to reach for healing and health and that now, that is her responsibility.

And yours is to redirect those energies to your own healing and recovery. You have joined a community of people who get it. And who will support you and encourage you! Make good use of the tools and resources here, and when you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards!

make a project of your own health and happiness. If her health and happiness is your project, you'll have expectations and they'll be dependent on a person you believe may have BPD. If your own health and happiness is a project for you, you will still be able to care for her and be there for her as necessary, and you'll be at your own best.

This is a brimming cup of wisdom for all of us to drink from and be refreshed! Words that offer a vision of balance, hope, possibilities, and renewal.

[Songwriter]

Thanks everyone. I'm taking care of myself and happy. However, I am treating this as emancipation and have put my boundaries to her that if she wants a relationship, she will have to continually go to therapy and rx which she is not which is why she's doing this. She's making 100% emotional decisions and can not think ratnlionally.