Looking for answers

[Catch22]

What does it mean when a husband (whom I believe may have undiagnosed covert narcissism or in the very least tendencies) says...."I don't need you for anything " in response to me trying to explain that he only thinks I'm a constant bitch when I do one of the following:
Express a feeling that's not 100% positive about him
Not Doing something he needs done
asking for anything emotional-like to enjoy spending time together
holding him accountable for keeping his word

And if that's the case, wouldn't most wives be considered bitches then?

Also, can untreated depression cause these things ?

[Simon]

Sounds very narcissistic to me.
As soon as you try to enforce a boundary, he goes off on one, lashing out.

At the very least, he sounds very immature, and doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for you.
Again, sounds NPD, but only you know how many traits he has, so hard to say.

Still, not nice to hear that the person that you want to spend your life with doesn't need you for anything.
He must know how hurtful that is to hear, so by saying it, I can only assume that that was his goal.

You could try having a rational conversation with him about, like asking him why he said something like that, did he mean it, did he mean to hurt you, etc, but if he is NPD then that won't make any difference.

I don't know how long you've been married, but I would suggest that you keep laying down those boundaries, as they all seem pretty reasonable to me.
You shouldn't have to ask a fully grown man to enjoy spending time with you, or to explain to him that his word should mean something.
If you find you are having to, something's not right.

[1footouttadefog]

I am thinking that if someone did not need me for anything I would be out of there.

My spouse is at the early stages of dementia and needs a care taker otherwise I would not be here.

If I heard those words I would be reimagining my life with someone who needed me with a passion and though they would die without me. 

I would think about being needed and held and cherished. 

Sometimes a pd person will tell us their truth, the question is do we listen or do we go forward in denial and decide they mean something else.