Just realized my husband is narcissist

[1jjjmpp]

I've known my husband for 30 plus years and only recently realized he has narcissistic personality disorder. I suspected there was something wrong with him but didn't know about this disorder, my eyes were opened after I learned about this and have bittersweet reaction. On one hand now everything is clear and makes sense and I'm not confused anymore but on the other hand I'm very sad. I don't want to divorce him for many reasons including children but it's hard for me to manage the relationship. He is actually trying not to abuse me but he is very intense and hyper and sometimes snaps (yells for stupid reasons). I have to be perfect and walk on eggshells to maintain peace and stability in our family which is very taxing on me, more so because I can't even talk about this to anyone that I know. I came here hoping to get understanding and support and hopefully some advice.

[bloomie]

1jjjmpp - Hi and welcome to Out of the FOG.

Coming to the realization that a loved one is showing consistent traits of a personality disorder is both a relief and very sad. I am so sorry you are facing this right now. As you mention, living with all of this can be so isolating. I am thankful you have reached out for support and help.

We are a community of people who do understand and as you read the posts of others you may see echoes of your own experiences that have been so inexplicable and caused such distress. For me, though I would not wish a PD loved one on anyone, I have found the validation sharing these experiences with others brings to be an invaluable part of my own healing. I hope you find that to be true for you as well.

As you settle in, I wanted to point you toward the resources in the drop down menus above and that are found throughout the forum boards. Another way to further build into your understanding and toolset in dealing with behaviors that are toxic from your H. I look forward to seeing you out there on the forum boards.