Negative grandiosity about health: Is this common?

[PeanutButter]

This is not to say that someone who is ill deserves it or that they can control it, however you can control your mind state and what goes on in our minds has a direct effect on our body's physical state IME.
I have encountered elderly persons who were over 90 with pleasant, sweet demeanors, and good physical strength and independent high activity levels. (Someone mentioned this on another thread; it would have hijacked it if I had commented there though)
UbpdM and unpd/ubpdMIL would have everyone believe that they have been at deaths door since at least 40, so well over 30 years.
There have been instances of real medical issues that are milked to the maximum for sympathy, servitude, and guilt. A serious illness is also not neccissary though. BECAUSE: They have it so much harder than everyone else. Their flu is the worst. Their headaches are migraines or possibly brain tumors. Their threshold for pain lower than anyone elses. Their suffering from stress is exponentially more than anyones. They are effected more, cant handle it as well, and generally are just weaker blablabla than anyone else. They have more anxiety and a stonger reaction to it. They have a more severe depression (which is the only kind that warrants medicine), and on and on.
Its 'negative grandiosity' (jerry wise) and boy oh boy they are grandiose.
They also project onto others the grandiose 'power' of 'causing' their illnesses, stress, and nervous breakdowns.
They will not be accountable, not even for their OWN thoughts and feelings.
They agree their state of mind is making them feel worse.
So they want to know when are we going to stop 'causing' then to have the negative attitude and terminal emotional state. 
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem"Captain Jack Sparrow
Does anyone else know people like this? I dont know if this is PD or something else? Hypochondria? Munchousen?
Its hard for me to believe that they really believe all of this stuff. But it seems to upset them greatly.

[clara]

It's certainly been common in the NPDs I've known!  I wonder if they learn this as children, as a way of getting attention.  They realize that if they exaggerate their symptoms, they'll get more sympathy, more attention.  And NPDs love attention, both negative and positive.  So yeah, a cold becomes a flu becomes pneumonia etc.  And you have difficulty telling them they're exaggerating because what if they're telling the truth?!  You know they're likely not, but you don't want to say no, you're not having a heart attack when there's the possibility even remotely that they are.  So in a way, they know how to draw you into their drama because they understand that you won't want to contradict them.  Once they establish this pattern with you, they figure ways to keep it going.  And, being human, eventually they'll have a genuine health crisis and at that point they'll be full of "I told you so!"  They will never let go that time something serious really did occur.  What makes it even more irritating is their attitude towards you when you have an illness, injury etc.  They will often totally ignore it, pretend you never said anything, dismiss it as not serious and change the conversation onto something similar that happened to them that was way worse, etc. 

[PeanutButter]

What makes it even more irritating is their attitude towards you when you have an illness, injury etc.  They will often totally ignore it, pretend you never said anything, dismiss it as not serious and change the conversation onto something similar that happened to them that was way worse, etc.

Thanks clara! It sounds like you understand. I totally agree that the behavior you describe above goes right along with it.
No we cant tell them we dont think they are as bad off as they say but they will not hesitate to downplay, deny, and disagree with us if we are ill or injured. Projection probably.

[gcj07a]

My uBPDm has been at Death's door since I was a kid. She has spent her life believing that she will die young. She is now on so many meds from the dozens of doctors she sees that I am surprised she is able to function as well as she does. Yes, I believe it is fairly common. Definitely the waify side of things.

[CagedBirdSinging]

Yes very true Peanutbutter, pdh is always at deaths door. When we first met I was so sympathetic. I'd never met anyone like that before eg bpd/ocd/npd. I even rushed him to the emergency room once because I thought he was dying. He was having a 'panic attack' and rolling around on the floor. Turned out he had a cold. Not even the flu.
He makes life hell for everyone when he's sick. And yes you are right about the grandiose feelings around causing the illnesses of others. He will drone on about how he caused x person to get sick, even if they have completely different ailments. Also on the other hand he will claim other people caused him stress, mental health issues etc.
It's one aspect (among many) of being married to a pd that I absolutely loathe. And why I'm planning my escape.
Oh also on this health theme, has zero sympathy for anyone else being sick/pregnant/post-surgery... but expects soooo much sympathy for himself.

[HeadAboveWater]

I can very much relate to this phenomenon. One of my parents suffers from several conditions which can flare to chronic pain. This parent allows the pain to become out of control and disabling before seeking treatment. Not surprisingly, many of the flares have occurred during anniversaries of loss or at otherwise stressful times. Before I was wise to the pattern, I volunteered to drive my parent for medical imagining of the painful site. The patient insisted the pain was so bad that an ambulance was required for transport. I patiently explained that if we called an ambulance, our only destination would be the hospital: They aren't taxi services for medical appointments. I waited for my parent to choose a diagnostic appointment and long-term treatment or acute care at the hospital. After choosing the former, my in-pain parent carried on, howling in pain as I provided an escort through the apartment building to the car. The histrionics were so bad that one of the neighbors phoned the police who promptly drove around to question me about elder abuse. This same parent is convinced that death is imminent, but family longevity of our relatives indicates that we can likely expect to live into our 90's.

Two things have helped me to understand this phenomenon. One was reading Carol Dweck's Mindset. In this book she presents a hypothesis that some people are flexible in their beliefs about their abilities to learn, grown, and change, and other people have a fixed mindset that their capabilities are innate. While this hypothesis is not specific to PD, it certainly helps me when thinking about some of the stinking thinking that PD individuals get into: They're stuck in "I can't" gear, and nothing seems to persuade them that they are able to help themselves, especially if the going feels at all challenging. I have also learned that procrastination is not about laziness; it is an emotional regulation process. When we feel fear, shame, anger, guilt about something, we'll avoid it. With PD folks, I think a lot of issues trigger difficult emotions. Many of us have put off preventive care or getting appropriate mental health support at one point or another, but I suppose it could be a particular minefield for someone with PD.

[Andeza]

Yes, yes, and yes. uBPDm in a nutshell.

My best defense against it became "Oh that sucks," and change the subject. Now, my best defense against it is NC.

Every time something weird cropped up, she would preface with "it's probably not serious, but there is a small chance it could be x" and for x simply insert cancer, or any of myriad untreatable and fatal diseases. Then, when she actually did have something horrible, and was beginning to experience heart failure, she was in denial about how bad it was.

Also, no one can be sicker than she is. Ever.

[indibindi90]

My mum had a chronic debilitating illness that she was convinced was M.E - that is of course until Jesus miraculously healed her one day (no offence to any religious folks here - touchy subject for me!)