After the fight

[Jellyfish]

Hello All! I am wondering what you do after a fight with your pd. Today my uNPDM guilted me into going to an Easter dinner at my grandparents by not telling me that it would be a large (extended/step family) event. She knows I don't like going to this kinda thing and I wouldn't have went if I would have known. Then both her and uPDF continued to  pile on smaller insults for the rest of the night. This has left me feeling broken up inside, kinda like things just aren't going to get better. I know I should honor my sadness and not pretend that I'm ok but I also don't want to just give in to the depression. In therapy I've discovered that I tend to dissociate and disappear into the internet to avoid these. So I'm wondering  after a fight with your PDs how do you cope?

[moglow]

This is probably a good time to nurture yourself. Think of what makes you feel better and do that - not in excess where you're exhausted but things that help you move past the hurt. If you can get out in nature for a while, maybe some good long walks?

By all means feel the sadness, but not internalize it to the point where you hold yourself responsible for their behavior. Try to hold that separate, see them for who they are, what they're capable of.

Seeing how you normally respond and wanting to change that - it's really a sign of strength and growth. You're looking at ways to improve and thats always a good thing!

[Jellyfish]

Thank you  Moglow for your kind reply. It's nice to get some positive feed back that I'm going in the right direction. I also really needed to hear you advise to feel the sadness but not internalize it. Those are hard words to remember especially in the moment.

[Amadahy]

I'm so sorry! My nmom used to enlist folks to gang up on me and it's an awful feeling.

The last time nmom raged and I stood my ground, I told her I would not be available until such and such day, so not to contact me. I turned off my phone and enjoyed the silence. Nobody has the right to treat me or you badly, so a time out was appropriate. In typical n fashion, the first thing she said afterward was, "I feel better now." Lol. Well, yeehaw! 😂

Please take good care. :Hug: