Why We Are Focusing On Our Members This Month

[Starboard Song]

Welcome to our first ever celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. At Out of the FOG, mental health is something we are very aware of every month. We talk all the time about mental health, but rarely about our own. To be honest, we can easily find ourselves dedicating all our time to some people who maybe deserve a good deal less of it.

So this is a month for applying the 51% Rule and focusing on ourselves: the tactics and practices that make us happier, stronger, and more at peace. We deserve a month of that.

Each week in May we will open a new board for a special weekly topic: five in all during the month. Once a new board opens, it will stay open all month.

Please jump in and share your good news, your success, and your aspirations. As always, you may need to share a frustration or ask a question or pose a challenge. That's fine, too. The goal, in the end, is to promote some inspiring stories and valuable sharing.

This is also a great month to support causes that contribute to mental health issues.
Among those, we hope you'll choose to Support Out of the FOG.

Thank you for contributing to the conversation:
your words and knowledge and peer-to-peer kindnesses are the most important contribution you can make.

[bloomie]

What a great focus for the community!

We talk all the time about mental health, but rarely about our own. To be honest, we can easily find ourselves dedicating all our time to some people who maybe deserve a good deal less of it.

This hit me hard, Starboard Song. A much needed reminder!

Spring and Summer tend to be times of gatherings and extended family/friend events. Some of which are decades long and layered with expectation. Then sprinkled with a few difficult to navigate (for me, anyway) people. I find myself so stressed out by the end of some of these things that I am physically done.

I have already decided to focus on taking good care of myself going into this season, but this redirecting of my energy to my own health and well being with common sense insights from the 51% Rule is helpful to me right now.

From the 51% Rule:

The 51% Rule says that we need to consider our own needs just a little more than those of others in order to be able to help them effectively.

When we look at all the challenges associated with living with a person who suffers from a personality disorder, things can often seem frustrating and overwhelming. Sometimes, the mountain seems so high, all we can do is look at it. This tends to immobilize us. We become weaker and more frustrated. We become no help to the loved ones we care about or, just as importantly, to ourselves. Nothing gets done and nothing gets any better.

When we feel or perceive things in that way it's hard to make the decisions we need to make or to trust in the decisions we have already made.

There is a way that has worked for me in reducing the size of the mountain. Instead of looking at the relationship as a black and white issue (that either they have to get completely healthy or I have to gain complete control over them) I have found that all I need to do is get just a little more than halfway to be on healthy ground.

Instead of staring at the mountain, as described here, feeling immobilized or shifting my focus to another person who is going to do what they are going to do every single time... if I can get just little more than halfway to healthy ground it could make all of the difference.

I will be back after some time to fully think about what this would look like. 

[xredshoesx]

@bloomie what you spoke on family reunion/visits ramping up in the spring and summer resonated with me.

in honor and celebration of my own mental health i'm taking a pre-planned half day a few weeks from now ON A FRIDAY.  how's that for mental health awareness/ self care?

[sunshine702]

I love this ❤️
Excited to hear!

[bloomie]

Some practices I am focusing on in the coming months that will support my mental health and well being are:

interpersonal:
removing myself from difficult interactions
saying what I need to say one time and then moving on
being clear on what is mine to do and sticking with it


personal:
challenging myself to hike and walk harder and further and getting outside in nature every day
swimming and being in and around the water
creating - making candles, bread, jewelry, painting, making music
reading for pleasure
recognizing burnout and taking firm steps to rest and recover when I need to
getting alone and doing some long needed grieving

@xredshoesx love that you are taking time away, on a Friday no less, to care for yourself.