neighbors

[ARTI]

Dear fellow travelers,
I have a neighbor I connected with about 7 years ago. We met basically walking our dogs. We connected due to similar interests and our adult children.
Boy did I see red flags. I basically thought that was friendship- you just put up with things. I did bring up an issue with her once: that she repeatedly patronized me like a child. I was as kind as possible and said I couldn't be close any more.
When I saw her around the building after that, I could tell she was angry. I just thought it was a normal reaction to losing me.
I just tried to be friendly when we walked by each other because I didn't want to be rude. But I think she interpreted this as and opening to pull me bac in. She kept pulling me back into her spider lair with its sticky with ooy gooy charm and friendliness. Eventually she started the pattern of emotional abuse again.
So now . . .I avoid her all together and walk the other way if I see her. As with all emotional abusers they will try many tactics to get you back into their web so they CAN suck you dry.
The last time I saw her I was getting a ride. She actually hung out around the car to waite for me to walk up to get in. I saw her and walked away. Then came back around and she was still there with an angry ragefull look. I actually thought she was going to verbally assault me. I saw who she really was AT THAT POINT - behind the charm and act.
It's like I connected back up with my mom who I have NC with. When I cut my mom off, she tried everything: anger, pitifulness, charm, baby talk, called my cousin to call me.
I'm learning now that if I have to be mean or rude to protect my emotional wellbeing and safety that I need to do that. Even if it goes against my natural nature to kindness.
Now I'm at the stage of maintenance and happy to have found this site to help me overcome guilt or gaslighting.

ARTI