I've been thinking about this lately. When we first dated, BPDH had some red flags around his anger, but then and for many years I thought he was simply depressed and that perhaps the anger was a symptom of male depression.
In the last 3 years, his BPD symptoms really flared up. Someone said the symptoms in their spouse went up like a hockey stick, and that is what I experienced too. From the stories I have been reading here, I am worried that in retirement age and beyond, things can get even worse and the symptoms less controlled. Is it common for that to happen?
If they run out of "narc supply" , their behavior can become a lot worse for those still involved with them.
My husband has gotten a little better with age, more mellow. To be honest I'm not sure if it's the age or the fact that our children are grown now so he feels like he gets more attention from me. He still has a high need for attention.
An old dog generally speaking will not learn new tricks. I tend to believe that the more comfortable a PD is around someone, the more aggravated they can become. They let their guard down around us nonPDs, expecting us to accept them for being negative and abusive unfortunately. My PDw acts as if she is so far superior, because she has become "enlightened" by her "medium counselor". Thus, anyone, including me, who does not follow in her exact footsteps is marked as being inferior. Little does she know or frankly care that other people can be happy, and they don't have to be so showy as she is. So, to answer your question, PD symptoms tend to get worse with age. I have been married to her for 18 years, and it has gotten worse.
My MIL has gotten worse that *I've* seen, but I don't have a comparison to over her lifetime. I believe my H is definitely getting worse swinging into middle age. I shudder to think of old age. I'm seriously quite concerned, now. Kids are growing up and getting ready to fly the coop and I don't know what kind of hell I've let myself in for.
I was with my stbxuPDh for about 20 years. He has most definitely become worse with age.
I've heard about some of his behaviors from the kids - it's atrocious.
My NPDh definitely became worse with age, especially his verbal diarrhea. The non stop talking became unbearable. I really pity his present partner, her vocal cords must have shrunk by now. As he got older he raged less, or I stuck around less to experience it, not sure which.
Yes, these situations can exasperate with age. My husband kind of went of the deep end when he hit 40. Mood swings, being unreasonable, etc. We tried all kinds of medications to no avail. I was going to leave him, but then I did a lot of research and came across natural progesterone cream. He simply put a dab on twice a day, and within the first day, he was a completely different man. He's been on it for ten years and still continues to thank me for finding this. Changed everything. You may want to look into it. There is a great book called "Adrenaline Dominance" by Dr. Platt. Changed our world. Very simple solution to very big problems. Hugs, Adria
YES! :aaauuugh:
Absolutely yes.
It's only the addition of medications the help keep some parts of it level these past years.