I’m a mess, but I did it. I left

[bohemian butterfly]

I will write more later, but just wanted to let you all know that I left and I'm safe and sound.  Will write more later

[blunk]

Glad to hear that you are safe. Congratulations on getting out.

[Phoenix Rising]

Just finished reading your last thread and was wondering how it went. Way to go !!!

[looloo]

You did it.  You did it!  You did it. 

[Jsinjin]

Congratulations and huge sending of virtual support!!!

[Empie2204]

You also deserve one big Thank you on behalf of all of us.
Thank you for inspiring and encouraging!
Breathe deeply. You´ve done a great thing!

[scapegoatnumerouno]

way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Enjoy YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

[11JB68]

 
Yay for you! Wishing you ✌ peace!

[pushit]

Congratulations!!!!

This is the hardest part, now it's over.  It slowly gets better from here.  Take time to relax and gather yourself, the next steps will become more clear and things will start to fall into place.

[bohemian butterfly]

Thank you all so very much.  I honestly could not have done this without you and my therapist.   This forum and each and every one of you are angels, really and truly. 

This morning was so hard.  I was sooo on the fence.  I went outside to try to talk to my boyfriend one more time about the stress of me renting a truck (my name, my credit card, my liability) to use for a farmer's market (he would be driving and using, not me).   I asked if there was another option because I was anxious.  I gently said that it wasn't that I distrusted his driving, but anything could happen and I was just really concerned.   I had read that if the primary isn't driving and an accident happens, my insurance wouldn't cover it)

He totally discounted my concern and started saying some really hurtful things, such as:

"You can't get up early on any other day, but here you are today giving me a hard time about this this morning"

"I'm going to get a credit card in my name so that I don't have to deal with you anymore. "

After he said the aforementioned I looked him right in the eye and said, "good-bye"

He came back and tried to back pedal.  I once again told him that I wasn't an employee.  I told him that I've told him multiple times these past few months, but nothing has changed.  I told him if I was his employee, I quit.

He then asked, "will you at least help me out today". I sorta laughed (because I couldn't believe he was actually telling me in his own way that he was just using me) and said, "sure"  (with no intention of helping him.  I was 100% done)

He resumed working, so I thought to myself, it's now or never!  So I walked into the house, grabbed the remainder of my things, backed the car up to the house and packed it to the brim. I got my 2 dogs and cat secured and loaded.   And then I drove away.  No one noticed.   As soon as I got down the street, I stopped safely and pulled out my phone.  I blocked his number, I deactivated my Facebook account and sent out a mass text to a few family members, friends and therapist.  I simply wrote:  I just moved out, I'm happy healthy and safe.  I need a few days.  Will talk to you soon".  And then I drove to my new house

The hardest part was my pets.  They were freaking out because they could sense my anxiety.  I was a nervous wreck.  before I left, my cat ran and hid from me (I prayed out loud, please God, just help me out!  I then took a breath, caught the cat and put him in his kennel phew!)   So that was the only hiccup.  I should have had a better plan for them, but regardless, we all got out safely. 

I'm still shaken up, but I feel safer now that he's blocked from sending me any texts or calls.

I'm ashamed to admit that I got ahold of his phone last night and deleted my parents contact numbers (should he feel the need to call them).  Other than that, I feel ok. 

This was a process and although I'm mentally spent, I feel optimistic.   I'm glad it ended how it did because any doubts that emerge, I stamp out with the echo of his statements: "I'll get my own credit card card so I don't have to deal with you" and "will you still help me today?"   

I'm going to sign off for a few days, but I'll be back. 

Thank you again for all of your well wishes and your wisdom and your love.  I seriously seriously could not have done this without you. 

[sad_dog_mommy]

Hey Girl!     

   (that is me dancing)

Do something extra special for yourself this weekend. 

((( hug )))

[JollyJazz]

Bohemian butterfly, that is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!



Hope that is enough emoticons! :p

[Spygirl]

Get some sleep, cry, breathe, and be a hermit crab with your pets if it suits you.

Time to rest, and start removing the emotional clutter from your brain.

You did good.

[scapegoatnumerouno]

        

[SerenityCat]

 

[2_exhausted]

 

You are a huge inspiration.

Wishing you much needed peace.

[Veloter]

SOOOOOO Proud of you!!!   I have been rooting for you over here on the west coast, and there are MANY people who have been right there with you.    The weekend should be devoted to self care and caring for your fur babies.   Keep us posted; there are lots of us who care.

[Whiteheron]

[xredshoesx]

deep breaths. you got this.   that first night i was free i alternated crying because i was terrified and crying because i was so happy that we were done.  12 years later, still living my best life without him.  my worst day alone was still better than the best day with him as a part of my life.

[Whatthehey]

Congratulations!  You have taken such a brave step!