The Covid conspiracies

[SunnyMeadow]

My elderly uNPDmother is now fully immersed in Covid conspiracies. All shapes and sizes of them. She sends all this by email to a select group of contacts, lucky for me, I'm in the loop.     Her contact list has grown very slim because she has run off most people. So the people in this group makes me 

This just enforces to me that she loves chaos and drama. It doesn't have to be family or friend drama, drama in the news will do. She is more and more OUTRAGED by this group or that guy. What a weird way of thinking, at least I think it is. She had this same reaction during 9/11. For me, I don't want a bunch of drama in my life yet she loves it and thrives on it. She probably feels people who don't feel this same way are odd.

Anyone else notice this? Maybe it's just my mother? Her wanting this chaos and drama is just one more thing on my list of things that annoy me about her.

[GettingOOTF]

I am FB friends with I people went to high school with. I haven’t seen these people in more than 20 years.

Recently I’ve noticed a few of them posting Covid conspiracy links and I had observed what you have. It’s the people who love drama, who are always falling out with their spouse/child/friend/coworkers. The people who are always complaining.

I look at these people and think about how exhausting their lives must be. I’ve started muting some of them.

I can remember when I loved chaos and drama. It’s what I grew up with so it was all I knew for a while. I have grown away from all of that. One telling thing is that I no longer feel the need to respond or correct. I see the posts and move on.

I have read a few articles on how this need for chaos and drama is similar to other additions, that it activates the same part of the brain. I know it took me a long time and a ton of work to break myself if this.

I did notice that I had surrounded myself with the same kind of person and part of my journey has been removing these people from my  live.

I do read some of these theories and it reminds me of the time when I would have been outraged and posting. I have empathy for these people as I know how compelling these things are to a certain type of person but I’m equally relieved that this is no longer my life.

[PeanutButter]

I wonder if the same people hoarded toilet paper?

[SunnyMeadow]

GettingOOTF,

Your point about growing up in chaos and drama is a good one. I grew up being involved in fights my mother had with family, friends, and neighbors. I went along with it because it was normal to me. I was on my mother's side because she was so hurt and who wants to see their mother hurt?

Good point about drama being similar to other addictions, thanks for that. I need to work into having the empathy you have for others, all I feel is dismay and anger. I'm glad you have worked through this issue in yourself and have removed those people from your life.

[SunnyMeadow]

I wonder if the same people hoarded toilet paper?

Hmmm - my mother did some hoarding so you may have something there!

[PeanutButter]

It occurred to me when yall mentioned 'creating drama and chaos'. To at least some extent that does seem to match the conspiracys ie 'oh no there wont be any toilet paper because of corona 19.' Then because of pictures on fb of empty shelves where tp should be 'we have to go buy any and all tp we can find' thus creating more empty shelves.
I seen a you tube video of someone building tp walls inside their house to see how high their cats could jump.
O my!

[lkdrymom]

I think these people have nothing else going on in their lives so they need something to get excited/riled up about.  What I hate is when they get mad because you have no interest (you have a life and better things to do) in getting upset with them.

[SunnyMeadow]

What I hate is when they get mad because you have no interest (you have a life and better things to do) in getting upset with them.

Yes, same here!

[nanotech]

Trigger alert 🚨
Yup. I'm so glad I'm non contact with my UNPDSis and bro right now. They thrive on it. I am in contact with my UNPDdad and he waxes dramatic on the topic ALL THE TIME.
MY mum was BPD and there was always drama at home. Massive arguments and power plays, dramatic disagreements, shouts, sulks.
Mum also regularly fell out with her sisters. I was brought up  defend mum and to think
poorly of my aunties ( except the youngest auntie whom mum put on a pedestal) Sometimes there were physical fights between my parents, and between my parents and us teenagers.
I don't mean a gentle slap. I mean mum hurling herself at me arms flailing and screaming like a banshee. I mean dad punching my sister in the stomach. It didn't happen all the time. It happened because they didn't know what else to do when we started to try to be independent.
My younger sibling chose compliance.  She's stayed a child in many ways. Younger brother was the golden child.It damaged him.  He's now someone I can't have a relationship with.
But yes, drama and chaos. Since mum died I've reconnected with my cousins. Attending one auntie's funeral brought home to me how my perceptions of my extended family had been skewed . I'm enjoying much more positive relationships with them now
The chaos now manifests itself in my dad's health anxiety involving panicky, demanding phone calls, unneeded ambulance call -outs and very unnecessary hospital visits.
Covid19 has rather rained on this for dad. Surprisingly he hasn't needed an emergency visit to a & e so far this year. Go figure.
His new drama outlet is speculating on Covid and painstakingly deconstructing the news and stats until the cows come home.
I limit my talking with dad, cut the calls short.
It's hard when it's on social media.
Is there any way you could leave that group?

[Adrianna]

I have an extended family member who is a Trump supporter. I'm a Democrat. He's retired and keeps sending me videos trying to get me to agree with him. I asked him to stop sending me political things. He continued. I blocked him on Facebook messenger so his messages went to spam. I went in the other day in the spam folder and there's a bunch more. I kindly messaged him again to please stop. He said ok. Two days later he's at it again. Blocked again. He's not respecting my boundaries and literally has nothing else to do apparently but I don't have time for that garbage and I'm not interested. So frustrating.

[SunnyMeadow]

It's very frustrating. There have been a few times my mother asked if I watched or read what she's sent. I say not yet and she completely reacts like  and "you aren't interested in what I'm interested in". Which is true but she can't handle that I'm not. So peculiar.

I read somewhere that covert narcissists believe everyone they associate with think the same way they do. Seems true in my mother's case. When she brings up politics or conspiracies I keep it very bland, "oh really?", "interesting" or "hmm, I haven't heard that before" and change the subject. Before I knew better, the few times I've stated my opinion, she flips her lid and cries, lectures etc. When I cut the conversation short and say I'll talk to you later when you're feeling better, her emotional fireworks explode even worse than before.

She's exhausting and only thinks of herself. It's sickening to have people who are so into themselves that they can't take basic social cues that people aren't interested.

[Adrianna]

Yes interesting you say that because there's an underlying sentiment that they need to teach us something. Enlighten us. Show us the way.

Years ago I had a friend call me the night before the election saying are you sure you want to vote for him (the Democrat)? I said yup done my research and quite fine with my decision although don't appreciate you trying to change my vote the day before I go to the polls. Oh was she offended! How DARE I imply that she was trying to get me to change my vote? She was just educating me, sharing information! She would never dream of such a thing as to tell me who to vote for! Red flags all over that response!  She was basically telling me to vote for the other guy!

[SunnyMeadow]

Oh was she offended! How DARE I imply that she was trying to get me to change my vote? She was just educating me, sharing information! She would never dream of such a thing as to tell me who to vote for! Red flags all over that response!  She was basically telling me to vote for the other guy!

Ugh! Amazing how they flip things around when someone calls them out on their bad behavior! Complete blame shifting. I used to fall for it but not anymore. My mom can go from Reasonable to Offended within seconds.

I've never thought about the underlying sentiment of them needing to teach us something, to enlighten us but that seems exactly right! They are always right after all. 

[MyLifeToo]

Oh I'm loving this thread. Nodding my head off agreeing with all the comments on drama, and growing up believing that defending your mom was the only thing to do. Mine still expects "absolute loyalty" from me about anything and everything. Every time I disagree it causes her such hurt!! ! It took me over 50 years to realise that her feelings of hurt were her responsibility, not mine.

She is currently not talking to me. All because she phoned to me say that she didn't like a certain film that we'd both watched. She criticised it non stop for about ten minutes. I responded (with mc) that I liked it and didn't agree with some of her points. That night I got a long text about how nasty and grumpy I have become, and how cruel and hurtful I am. I'm still shaking my head in bewilderment, but making the most of the peace and quiet.

FWIW, she also gets embroiled in fb arguments and always needs to be teaching someone something. It just makes a nice change when that someone is not me or my adult kids.  . She also forwards videos and gets upset when I don't drop everything to watch them and like them.

[SunnyMeadow]

I was going to quote a part of your post to reply to MyLifetoo but every single sentence sounds like my life (too  ).

Oh my gosh, I think you're my long lost sibling! The absolute loyalty or else she feels extreme hurt, the long texts if I don't agree with her AND the fb arguments!! She is the reason I'm off fb. I couldn't stand seeing her post to strangers how completely wrong they were. Mainly political stuff. She'd post this stuff to long time acquaintances too. Plus she'd want me to read and like these book-length posts to others.

My life is going to be so much easier when she's gone. Even when I was NC for a while, she was always lurking about. I'm finally going to feel free to be myself around everyone else. It's truly sickening how much these people try to control.

[Honey_B]

Also, it does not help that the way a lot of media deliver the news today is exactly with a lot of drama and chaos. Drama sells