Running on Empty No More - Jonice Webb

[Hilltop]

I have read both Running on Empty and then Running on Empty No More which is about  CEN - childhood emotional neglect.  I feel you need to read the first book before going on to Empty No More.  I have got a lot out of both these books.  I will say Dr Webb has written from the standpoint that most parents have done the best they could and it's about recognizing the effects from CEN for your own healing.  She does have parts in there for narcissistic parents however more concentrates on acknowledging the neglect and impact on your adult life, which can not only come from BPD/narcissistic parents but well meaning parents as well.  She in no way discounts or dismisses abuse in any way though.

I had already read a few books on emotional abuse and other books about covert narcissists which did in a lot of ways validate that the behaviour by my parents was not normal.  What I got out of Jonice Webb's books was really good information on healing from emotional neglect.  I already know a little about CBT however I feel Webb really puts it in an easy to understand manner.

Her tips are recognising your emotions and then asking yourself the following questions:
What's wrong?
Why did you do that?
Why do you say that?
How do you feel?
What do you want?
What are you afraid of?
What are you worried about?
What's making you angry, sad, hurt, etc?

Then going on to learn how to manage your emotions and express them healthily.   When I learned about CBT I was taught to recognize the emotion but then learn to sit there with it and just acknowledge it until it fades away.  I must admit I didn't get much out of this and maybe at the time I didn't understand it properly.  I have started really questioning my emotions when I feel them and I have found this works well for me.

The book does go into many more in depth steps for healing and moving on, its not just these tips.  I have found it so useful. 

I will say the book is really for healing for yourself.  There isn't anything for dealing with your parent or whether to go NC or that side of things.  It is a book designed that if you were emotionally neglected in childhood, how to recognize that, then how that will affect you as an adult and finally how to heal from that.

Well worth a read.

[blacksheep7]

Great suggestion.

I read them both.

I highlight passages in my books for further reference.  It comes in handy.

[GettingOOTF]

Thank you. This is a available on Kindle Unlimited and is you don't have that it's $2.99 for the Kindle version which you can read on the Kindle app if you don't have a Kindle. I have it and will read it this week.

[Hilltop]

I should add that in Running Empty No More there are parts for dealing with your parents however that is more geared toward parents that were well meaning.  With parents that have PD she does mention that if you are looking at talking to your parents to talk to a therapist for guidance.  There are also chapters for people with kids and whilst I don't have kids I still found these chapters useful as I could recognise things in myself or how things played out with my parents.

For anyone with children it would be beneficial as she talks about how to help your children and relate to them better.

[all4peace]

I loved both of these books. Easy to read, practical, and very helpful.