Some how it's always my fault

[Silentlywaiting]

It's something I've noticed before and somehow I've continually ignored it. I honestly think my sister has NPD even though she has been diagnosed as bipolar.  I had hoped it was just fleas but as we go down the rabbit hole she further deregulates.
I noticed one time when I came home, she had flying monkeys. She screamed at me for talking on the phone, it was uncalled for and I set up a boundary. Her flying monkey came out and inserted himself in the argument.
Over the last few years I've basically been on demand venting ear, I've listened to her vent for hours at a time. I've stopped what I'm doing to be there for her more times than I can count. Most of the time she dominates the conversation and glosses over if I have any issues, it always seems hers are worse. I've had a rough few years that included three diagnosed health conditions, one of which is cancer.
She was slightly more empathetic with the cancer. I had treatment and the cancer in the leg was cleared.
Her small emergencies are made bigger by her reaction which includes screaming and crying. From a senile man driving down her drive way and getting stuck, to a contractor not showing up.
It doesn't matter what I'm doing or if I can even deal with it that day, she acts like I am suppose to drop everything for her.
I went to see my son which requires a full days drive. We crashed that night but had to leave first thing in the morning. I had just woke up, hadn't even had coffee yet, and she calls me. I listened to her for a few minutes and then stated simply that I had to go because we were getting ready to leave and I wanted to spend some time with my son. She got extremely hurt over the fact I couldn't talk. I then had to drive through an extremely large heavily populated area in horrible rain storms, all the while she's texting me. When I don't respond she called me. I told her I can't text or talk because I was driving in bad conditions. I figured that she would understand. Apparently, instead she whined to her son.
Then for my birthday and Christmas she repeatedly asked me what I wanted, and I repeatedly told her nothing because I couldn't give her anything. Finally for my birthday I said I'd like to spend time with her. She ended up cancelling, I wasn't mad, I understood, it happens. She stated she was angry because I never told her what I wanted. I told her nothing because I couldn't return the sentiment. Then she stated she wanted me to do a drawing for her. I told her I would try and requested pictures. She sent me bad dark pictures. I requested different pictures. They still weren't great and I couldn't draw a decent drawing. I showed her what I had done, explained and apologized. I offered to do something else for her. She of course said it was fine. She knows we're broke and can't afford anything.
I finally found some cheap nail stuff and said one would be fine and that I expected nothing.
Next thing I know is that I get a message yesterday from her son, how I'm selfish, how she does so much for me, and how only I can fix my life.

I had a particularly bad day yesterday, especially when I found out the college wasn't having the class I planned to take to improve my situation. My cancer may be back in the original spot and a new spot.  I already felt horrible about the whole situation and that just made me feel worse. Now, I have no desire to do any drawing.
I spoke with her today, in the conversation I got guilted because I was angry with her and she didn't know why he said those things. Then she read me their text messages between them. What they said implies she has always spoke bad about me. He felt justified in his bullcrap because of what she has told him.
I'm so very angry and hurt. I'm leaving so much out. I'm sick to death of this. I'm tired of apologizing because a simple statement somehow hurts her feelings. something like because I tell her to calm down or I wouldn't respond that way.
There is so much more to this but I've already written a book. I'm just so tired of all of this.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome Silentlywaiting! You have found a good place. Sounds like you have got a lot on your plate at the moment and your sister is giving you a lot of grief. Have you checked out the TOOLBOX tab? You might find some useful strategies there on how to deal with your sister and how to protect yourself better from her. What helped me a lot was to get as much information as possible. See you around on the boards.

[Silentlywaiting]

I'm familiar with the toolbox. Thank you
It's been three days and she hasn't called me. She's called my mom. So again it's some how my fault even though she and her spawn were the ones who did it.

[athene1399]

My sis also thinks I should drop everything to do what she wants. It gets frustrating. I've tried to start boundaries about this. I'm allowed to say "no" no matter how much she whines. i won't give in. when she paints me as the bad guy, I try not to argue my side now. I either stay out of it  or say "I don't know why she said that". It's difficult though and extremely frustrating. 

[FoggedFrog]

I can relate to this with my Nsis too. Know you are not alone. I'm sorry you must go through this. It's not your fault and it is overreactions. I hope you find your answer and some peace. Best of luck.