A huge next step is in the not far off future.

[1footouttadefog]

In a oast thread I may habe mentioned that my pdh sort of got weird and accused me of trying to keep a piece of land we own for my own use after he dies.  He then mentioned moving into the rentak house I was ckeaning and maintenancing between tenants. 

A few weeks later he had thebweird episode where he disresected me by asking me questions repeatedly then interupting me and dismissing my input.  He gave credit for my efforts in a recent medical crisis tobsomeone else and devalued me pretry harshly while at the same time reoeatedly highjacking the conversations between my kids and mysekf to direct alk attention to himsekf.  When I called him out on it he talked about divorse.

I explained that I had worked from home, homeschooled and parented for so long I have no social secirity coming in my own name and I was sure as heck not giving those benifits up by legally divorsing.

He actually said that makes since and he had not considered it, and that we coukd just separate by agreement but remain married .  I suggested we could set him up a tiny home in the land he loves so much.  We discussed where to okace it and he wamts to be up high.  I have that part keased for agriculture but will see if I can re-work the arragement.

I went on a vacation with my kids and while gone he sold a lot of expensive items from our home and bought items he obcesses over.  Probably because he was evening up the score for money it cost to take the vacation and because he is ocd.  The deception and such is too much to take. In the meantime the new purchase is in a joinly held safety deposit box and he feels its a family asset so I am keeping the peace anout it.

In the meantime I have been blessed that a well and ekectricity for that land will be cost shared by a federal and state program due to agriculture.  This puts the tiny home on a corner of the land in the near future and pdh is seemingly okay with the idea of living mostly separate while remaining married. 

I have mentioned he could come use the laundry and I will make him some meals and freeze them as I cook for the kids and I.  He mentioned how this will work nicely when my mother can no longer live alone and its only fair she could live with us as his mother did for a couole years at her lifes end.

Neither one is showing any anger in this.  I think he is actually quite relieved that he wont have the pressures of living with three females who reject his rudeness constanly. 

I will help him as he needs with car mainenance issues and tiny home repairs.  When his mind fails him altogether I will see he gets the care he needs and transitions to a facility that will care for him.  I will fulfil my obligations to care for a disabled spouse but will be free to live life outside the oadded room on a day to day basis.

I am looking forward to a new situation where my life can be normal most of the time on a day to day basis.  I look forward to new friends and inviting them over to a dinner party where the same act and stories will not be told and performed as they have been for over thirty years.

[looloo]

Sounds like a pretty ideal arrangement!  I'm happy for you and hope the transition goes smoothly!