"The Surrendered Wife"

[biggerfish]

This book is written by a wife, so she decided to write it for wives. But really it's for anyone who came into their love relationship with control issues caused by past trauma.

It's got practical suggestions for laying off the criticism and control, and how to survive doing so. (It's also got a few suggestions that don't work for me, but that makes sense. Every relationship is different.)

This book is for the person in the relationship who has the PD, not their spouse. I'm sure there are other members here who, like me, realize they are the ones in their love relationship with the personality disorder, and really want to be a better life partner.

I'm in the middle of reading this book right now, and I'm already seeing some of my husband's annoying behaviors fall away with ease. These are behaviors I was trying to control in the past. But now that I've dropped the control (mostly) he seems happier, more relaxed, more loving, more passionate, more considerate. I see now that over time, he had become increasingly inhibited and cautious. I'm okay with saying it was a lot of work for him to deal with me. So now I'm changing for the better.

If you're in a relationship with someone with a PD, this book may not be for you. But if you are the one with the PD, and you're concerned that you may be damaging your relationship with a great partner, this book could help. It's helping me.