Gifts in mail from abroad

[Therivercontinueson]

Hi everyone. I hope all of you are finding peace and moments of quiet and joy during the holidays. I wanted to ask if anyone had any advice about receiving Christmas gifts in the mail? I live abroad and my FOO is in my home country, and I haven't been in contact with any of them since July this year. I have been receiving emails in my spam folder every other week since then, but have successfully blocked them elsewhere. They have my address from before I went NC, and I just got an email saying the Christmas gifts they sent me have arrived. I'm wondering what to do with them - I am leaning towards ignoring them, but that means I need to put the box somewhere in my very small house, and I'd need to open it eventually to sort through it. I could return to sender, but I know that is some sort of engagement that might trigger something, although I  know it would send a strong message, it feels being completely NC had been working so far (as best as it can) and I wouldn't want to mess that up. The other option is selling/donating whatever they sent me, but I think that is an emotional burden to go through the effort - they never ever got me what I wanted growing up and it would be a painful reminder of that, and also they would get me super cheap gifts that really no one would want (even though they were rich), probably just to spite me, so they probably wouldn't be worth much any way. I'm also a bit paranoid after stalking behaviour from them that they might have put some sort of recording or tracking device in the box, and while that is probably unlikely, it isn't impossible, and I don't want to be on edge all week. I am wondering if it might work to put no longer at this address on the packages and have them sent back, which might help them stop sending gifts or threatening to stalk me in the future, however this might also trigger a panicked barrage of emails from them, and I also don't know if I can do that (in regards to the post office) as I do still live here. Any advice on how to deal with packages? Thank you all, as always this forum is incredibly helpful and a balm for the stress and loneliness of NC.

[Cat of the Canals]

I would probably donate the entire thing, completely unopened. But if that is too much: THROW IT AWAY. Again, don't bother opening it. Straight in the dumpster. Don't sacrifice your sanity or time or enjoyment of the holidays over what is very likely cheap garbage only sent as a manipulation tactic. Toss it and move on.

[JustKat]

I wouldn't send it back. One thing I learned early on is that returning a gift feeds into a narc's narrative that their NC child is cruel and vindictive.

I have to echo Cat of the Canals in suggesting you donate the entire thing (unless your parents are like mine and send junk items from the dollar store). If you don't want to donate it, just toss it out with the trash. But don't refuse the delivery or return it to them. That's exactly what they want you to do. Be kind to yourself and try not to stress over it. Dispose of it and move on.

[walking on broken glass]

Could you ask someone else to inspect it on your behalf and then decide whether to donate or toss in the garbage? I agree that you shouldn't spend time and energy on sending it back, and you don't want to risk triggering more reactions.

[Srcyu]

Hello River,
Yes, I did experience the problem of unwelcome gifts. They are a massive intrusion and the vibes from it are currently right in your home.

The sooner the package is out of your house the better.
You've done well not to open it so far.

Donating it unopened may not be possible, as the charity would not know for sure what you are actually giving them.

For me, throwing them out unopened was by far the best option. Crucially, this would need to be done just before the local rubbish collection occurred.

When it is completely gone, you can breathe a sigh of relief.