Hi everyone, I am back yet again. Still dealing with codependency and in toxic relationship..Gotta ask if it is possible to have a graceful transition from narcarsist woman who I've been "addicted to" since 2019? I would stay if we could agree on a budget but it's toxic to even suggest having a budget. Are financial boundaries even possible? I've not been able to rest at night with confidence about future spending. It has been impossible to budget, plan, or communicate. Any insights are appreciated. Struggling with "stay" or "go" and I'd leave if it would be possible without abrupt no contact.
Hi there. Wanting to say hello and welcome back. I moved your post from The Welcome Mat to Separating and Divorcing to give you a good opportunity for feedback and insights.
You say you are addicted to this woman and you also say that financially the outlook is dire and unpredictable leading you to sleepless nights and what sounds like intense anxiety.
That is a complex knot to try and untie on your own.
I am wondering what a graceful transition would look like for you? Maybe defining that would help you determine if, given this woman's consistent behaviors over time, it is possible to gracefully exit?
I'm sorry for the stress this is clearly causing you.
My BPDh has a history of poor money management. To protect myself, I am legally separating our finances. I'm wondering if you have spoken to a lawyer about options to protect your finances--dependending on the laws in your area, there may be different options.
i was able to transition from my ex uPD a lot easier because we never co-mingled funds. he did ask for 50% of household stuff that he felt he contributed to. not my best moment, because i cut everything in half/ measured half of everything and boxed it up for him. we had a peace officer present when he picked up his stuff and he didn't fight me on it.
That sounds like financial abuse which is just as real as emotional abuse.
The experts talk about sneaking away from a Narc when they have found a new supply source making them feel that it was their idea!for the split. And resist hovering. That is the best options. Often they will use every piece of information they have ever gleaned against you. Mantra — sneak!!