Out of the FOG

Getting Started => Board Information & Questions => Topic started by: newday on September 15, 2016, 05:57:34 PM

Title: Co-parenting and secondary relationship board
Post by: newday on September 15, 2016, 05:57:34 PM
Have you considered starting a separate board for step parents?  I've noticed on the co-parenting board that many of the commenters are step-moms and it can be triggering to read their sometimes shocking lack of empathy and insight towards actual moms.  They almost seem like flying monkeys at times for their husbands/boyfriends.  There is such a stark difference in being a parent v. step parent which I don't think many step mom's understand if they don't have kids of their own.  Providing them their own board to vent about the oft-proclaimed "horrible bio-mom" would allow the parents going through custody issues to get advice without the oftentimes really off-base remarks from the step moms contingency.
Title: Re: Co-parenting and secondary relationship board
Post by: Bloomie on September 15, 2016, 09:10:50 PM
Hi newday - thanks for asking the question and sharing how the Co-parenting board can be a complex place to post for you. I have sent your question along to the rest of the team.
Title: Re: Co-parenting and secondary relationship board
Post by: Latchkey on September 18, 2016, 01:33:44 PM
Hi newday,

Thank you for voicing your concerns and we've discussed this request and issue as a team. First, we understand how triggering reading someone's post can be, especially when it mirrors your experience, and we would encourage you to realize when you are being triggered and to try not to let it overshadow your experience here which we want to be a positive and healing one.

The co-parenting aspect to this board is essentially about "parenting". Both step and bio parents dealing with a PD parent have similar issues. Over the many years we have had this forum the step and bio parents have worked together to better parent these children who are unfortunately caught in a bad situation. Many of the parents here, myself included, are both Step and Bio parents with PD exes on both sides. Some of us only have 1 PD parent in the mix. For others, not only do they have a PD parent, but also PD grandparents on either side. Still others have children which may or may not have behavioral issues or developing a PD themselves.

None of this is easy and most of it is very confusing and messy to deal with. We have people coming here from all over the world. Different traditions, legal systems. Some are terrified for their children or step children. Many of us have dealt with or are dealing with other agencies involved in their life like DCFS or the courts and the dictates of parenting coordinators.

The struggles are real and none of us can really walk in others shoes, only try to advise and listen and help eachother as best as we can.

I think we need to be compassionate of other members here, step and bio parents and partners of Non parents,  their struggles, and to keep the focus on the parenting of the children.

This is a heavily moderated forum. Please use the report to moderator function to report any posts you feel are concerning. Other members can not see that you have reported them. Also, feel free to send one of us on staff a PM if you have concerns.

Title: Re: Co-parenting and secondary relationship board
Post by: moglow on October 24, 2017, 12:33:45 AM
Since this question has been raised again, we felt it best to advise that we have discussed it as a group and as of yet our decision has not changed. Any concerns regarding possible "bashing" - from either bio or step parents - should be addressed via the "report to moderators" link at the bottom of the post in question.