Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Co-parenting and Secondary Relationships => Topic started by: Rupert on August 20, 2017, 07:57:46 PM

Title: Ex FIL attempts to make a mini me out of our son.
Post by: Rupert on August 20, 2017, 07:57:46 PM
Hello to all.

I hold a serious concern for my son at this point, my partner and i broke up about 6 months ago.

She now lives with her parents as far as i know.

I have a serious concern that her father may attempt to make a "mini me" out of our son, as he has always attempted to groom younger males in his life or attempt to get them to imitate him, to fullfill his desire to have a son, the son he never had so to speak.

My son is five years old and has an extremely concerning pattern of speech and word usage.

Does anyone have experience with this?

I'm aware it is quite common for NPD parents to manipulate and use their children to fill their own needs or to bolster their ego through their achievements by proxy.

But what about grandchildren?

As far as I'm aware from the discussions i had with my ex partner, her father did something very similar to her eg push her to achieve and excel in things she thought of as a hobby to the point she detested doing them at all.

It was not a one off incident as far as I'm aware but a continual pattern, though I'm not sure if it continued with his other two daughters, though the middle child displayed all the hallmarks of NPD early on in the relationship and from incidents i had been advised on and told about later on.
Title: Re: Ex FIL attempts to make a mini me out of our son.
Post by: Latchkey on August 21, 2017, 02:12:24 AM
There are definitely other members here who have dealt with this. Some who have had to use the courts and massive intervention to keep PD grandparents away. Many others here who deal with this in a less intense way since there is less access by the PD grandparent to the child. (i.e. grandparents only see the child on holidays)

What is the current visitation schedule and how often is your S around his grandpa?
Does the child's behavior change back to what seems more normal after a few hours or days with you?