I found this video on covert narcissism. Thought it might be relevant to a lot of us https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WVLZXLyO-M
This one is good too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rzvoKbZXZg
Just to add a bit of context, as Practical asked me to do with the other video, covert narcissism is the kind where while you are being abused or attacked, the abuser is telling you that they love you and that you are in fact hurting THEM. Overt narcissism is where they are open about the attacks, but covert narcissism involves everything being done covertly so if you ever confront them they can deny it, and imply that you are a bit bonkers. You are left utterly powerless and feeling a lot of guilt. I know many of us have experienced this kind on here. I certainly have and have found it very painful and confusing. I think it's particularly common with BPD.
Blueskies,
Thank you for the informative video on covert narcissism. I agree it is an important topic and yes; many here have experienced it and it is painful and confusing. Just as reminder to all though, here is what our member guidelines say about posting links.
"It's OK to share about resources or websites that you enjoy, are involved in or that have helped you. However, it's not OK to "link-bomb" the site with irrelevant or excessive information. Here are some rules for posting links:
- All links must be related to coping, recovery and personal growth from a relationship with an individual who suffers from a personality disorder.
- All links posted must be accompanied with a paragraph summarizing the main content of the link.
- All links posted must be accompanied with a paragraph describing why it is important to the poster."
Once again thank you for sharing. Additional information per the guidelines would make your posting much more relevant and provide context to readers. And by the way, I did enjoy the videos. Thanks again.
I'm sorry I didn't realise. It was brief as I often have problems with my hands and can't type. I'll make sure I put it in proper context next time. I didn't mean to link bomb....a few of us had been talking about trauma bonding recently so I mainly posted for those people.
No problem blueskies. I don't have hand problems but I am not a good typist, so I do understand.
I watched both videos this morning and they were so good! They make so much sense. I also like how he talked about how they can go through periods of being overt and periods of being covert. I think I see this so much when it applies to religious environments. When my BPDm is in religious environments and church she is very covert. She will even spiritualized her abuse. Like in the second video how he says, "I am not abusing you, I am helping you. I am doing this because I love you. You are hurting me." BAM. Yes. I have heard that sooooo often. But back in her bar hopping days she was very much a grandiose arrogant bragging overt abuser. She still will slide into that when she isn't trying to seem religious.
Thank you for sharing!!!!