Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Friends, Neighbors, Acquaintances and Coworkers => Topic started by: newlife33 on March 23, 2018, 04:23:35 PM

Title: An experience with a PD roommate
Post by: newlife33 on March 23, 2018, 04:23:35 PM
I had to find a place to live a few months ago and was in a jam.  I found one with two roommates in the area of the city I like and took it.  One of the roommates had a dog which I got along with and figured it would be good for me to help recover and be a companion and give me something to do.  The guy seemed ok and he didn't really give off any PD vibes. 

Boy was I wrong.  He's not a super bad PD but it's amazing to see the disorder in action.  He really kept to himself the first three months, but then he started to show that he did not have any friends or interests.  He never asked me or the other roommates any questions, he was always self centered and focused on his "illustrious acting career.", which is nothing because he is a poor actor but thinks he is amazing.  He also gets jealous when I go out and hang out with my friends or play soccer or am just hanging out enjoying myself.  He will either look at me weird or say something passive aggressive or try to make it into some sort of competition.  One day I went to play soccer and he grabbed the ball and tried to get it by me, and awkwardly kept saying he was the best.  It was reallllly weird.  Then he got a girlfriend who was just as negative and weird.  Last night they created a fake Tinder profile and were trolling people and pretending to be someone else and trick people......I was appaled but they were laughing and having a good time lying to people.  Finally, the dog is super depressed, and is only happy when it is around me.

The most interesting thing tho was to see the love bombing.  I told him that things were going well for me, and I would be looking for a place by myself and moving out soon and subletting the room....all of a sudden he was nicer to me, asking me questions and acting normal.....it felt *sooooooo* sleazy though, it was like I could see right through him.....he was trying to love bomb me!!!!! I didn't fall for it though and am still going to move out soon.

I think when I moved in 7 months ago I was still very early in NC with my family and very depressed and didn't have boundaries, so I didn't noticed a lot of the red flags.  I'm sort of annoyed and pissed at myself because I should have learned by now to see the signs. Maybe this was a good thing though  to live with a PD after I healed......being able to see the whole process: the honeymoon phase, the acting, the information gathering, the selfishness, the lovebombing, etc.....all of it was like being able to go back in time and reacting the way I should have reacted when I was a kid and my bio fam did it to me.  Through this experience I finally have full confidence in my boundaries and ability to be self sufficent while also allowing new people into my life and building a safe and healthy community.

Title: Re: An experience with a PD roommate
Post by: notrightinthehead on March 23, 2018, 05:46:05 PM
That sounds like things are going well for you. Congratulations
Title: Re: An experience with a PD roommate
Post by: newlife33 on March 23, 2018, 09:05:25 PM
That sounds like things are going well for you. Congratulations

Thank you! I appreciate your comment. I feel like I'm about to push myself far enough away from PD abuse to finally have my own life. Just have to keep going and keep growing.