I just read this article by Mark Manson about resolving conflict and wanted to share. He explains things in such a simple and easy to understand manner:
https://markmanson.net/relationship-problems (https://markmanson.net/relationship-problems)
I think the "They are trying to change you" section can really apply to dealing with PD relationships. My example would be my M trying to change my habits for how much contact I want to have, etc.
Mark basically says that you have 2 (healthy) choices in this instance:
QuoteStep One: Tell them that this is who you are and they can take it or leave it.
Step Two: If they don't accept it and keep trying to change you, you leave the relationship.
He has a guide to boundaries on his site too: https://markmanson.net/boundaries (https://markmanson.net/boundaries)
I think its really great advice, most of what I've been trying to implement in my own life already, but I am amazed by how simple he makes it sound. Hope someone else finds this helpful. :)
I bookmarked both pages. Really great format, easy to follow. I love the way he maps out the steps! Seems so simple, how did it take me years to get to this point?! Thanks for sharing.
Good stuff! Thanks.
Still reading... but wanted to mention that this hit home:
"The victim creates more and more problems to solve and the saver solves and solves"
That was my marriage in a nutshell. Constantly solving his manufactured problems was exhausting.
Thanks for posting!
daughterofbpd - to preserve this great resource I moved this over to our other media resources board. Thank you for sharing this. Good stuff!