Out of the FOG

The Other Sides of Us => Working on Us => Topic started by: Spring Butterfly on May 12, 2019, 08:35:55 AM

Title: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: Spring Butterfly on May 12, 2019, 08:35:55 AM
Lately just feeling stuck, like there's a restlessness deep within screaming for release. This info really helped.

This helps me understand that if we don't fully and authentically reach individuation we keep getting pulled back into earlier stages of development. Periodically we can reach the higher levels but triggers and things of life pull us back, keep us a bit stuck like the earlier stages of development aren't really done.

In order to individuate, if others refuse to let us go then from within one needs to not care what others think or how they react to individuation.

This also struck me because step one in psychological development includes staying free from harm and how would one do that in an abusive environment? It's no wonder every other level is difficult to achieve and we do so to some degree and in some measure.

However it can be done and I find this information enlightening and extremely freeing.

Based on Maslow's hierarchy of needs Barrett Values align psychological development to personal consciousness and awareness:



Edited to add the attached paper with details. Barrett's Values - growth and individuation
Title: Re: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: blacksheep7 on May 13, 2019, 02:38:16 PM
Thank you SB.
It will certainly help me too.
Title: Re: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: Amadahy on May 13, 2019, 03:33:36 PM
Yassss!  Referring back to later. Thank you so much! :hug:
Title: Re: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: Bloomie on May 13, 2019, 08:44:22 PM
This is a great resource. Thank you for sharing it.
Title: Re: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: practical on May 15, 2019, 08:56:33 PM
Really interesting, thanks for posting!

In my mind there has to be a disclaimer for people who have survived abuse and might have helper/rescuer syndrome or codependent tendencies. Empathy, helping, changing the world - basically stage 6 and 7 in those diagrams - are all good goals for Non's, with an abuse survivor these might need to be handled carefully so they don't lead back to old behaviours. For me doing any work that would fall into categories 6 or 7 would be easy, I would slip right back in, including believing that is who I am and how I express myself, while doing something for myself, taking time for myself especially on a consistent basis is much harder. So wherever you are in your path, whatever your goals are, I think it is important to step back, reflect and question our motifs, look at the big picture.
Title: Re: Getting Unstuck - growth and individuation
Post by: Spring Butterfly on May 16, 2019, 08:10:48 AM
That makes sense and I understand which is why I think the individuation stage is so critical. That's where we get to shed any residual issues from the first three stages. If that's not done then yes there's unhealthy motivations and drivers that carry through as we stumble through trying to reach other stages or else just get stuck and never individuate.

Check out he unhealthy motivations in the second article page

Check out the details in the full articles (PDF download) in both topics. They outline the unhealthy motivations that can develop in all categories of both development and consciousness. That may be why they all come together in the illustration at individuation.

Personally I've experienced all the higher levels but not to their fullest potential and yes sometimes in a toxic way as codependent. That's because individuation never absolutely fully occurred.

Check out the unhealthy motivations on page 2 of the second article attached here.

The good news is that it's not a straight line with dependencies, it's fluid. From the paper attached here: "Learning how  to  manage  our  needs  is  a  life‐long process.  Even  when  we  have  learned how  to  become the author  of  our  own  lives - to  become  a  self‐actualised  individual - we will find  situations  arising  where  we  discover  that  we  still have  limiting  beliefs  that keep  us  anchored  in  the  lower  levels  of  consciousness - situations  that  frustrate  us  or cause  us  to  feel  anxious  and  bring up  our  fears."

So this information is helping me go back and review, shed any remaining layers that need clearing out.