Out of the FOG

The Other Sides of Us => Future Goals => Topic started by: JollyJazz on November 01, 2019, 02:00:24 PM

Title: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: JollyJazz on November 01, 2019, 02:00:24 PM
Hi All,
I'm working towards the goal of my very own home. I've got lots of steps to take and I've taken the first few, tentative ones.
The thing is, I kind of want to have a little home that is secret from my PD FOO.
I just really like the idea of them never having any idea of where my house is, and having a safe place where they can't just 'show up'.
So I want to buy a house, just without my FOO knowing. I am MC.
Has anyone else managed to do this? Any thoughts or ideas of how to accomplish this?

Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: Andeza on November 01, 2019, 05:31:12 PM
Well... we managed to sell our house without anyone finding out, so it has to be possible to buy one that way.

First, tell no one you're in the market.

Second, after you are under contract (or before doesn't really matter) go the Post Office, or the UPS store, and set up a PO Box # that you are okay giving out to your FOO if you so desire.

Third, pay the local phone books off not to list your number (because you used to be able to cross a phone number with a name and get an address).

Fourth, post nothing of your new digs on social media. None whatsoever cause once it's out there, you can't take it back. Be a ninja :ninja:

Fifth, if you are in the States you may want to check with the county where you purchase and ask them not to post your info publicly on the county assessor's  website. Not sure how that one would work, you may have to tell them you're worried about stalking or harassment or some such.

Such a wonderful dream, wishing you the best!  :thumbup:
Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: JollyJazz on November 03, 2019, 02:03:19 PM
Hi Andeza,

Thanks for all these great tips! :)
I have the PO box one so that's a start.
Its hard with not telling my FOO that I'm in the market - (I agree with you, its a good idea).
Not having a home of my own is one of the things my PD family members have put me down about.
But I think the peace and sense of safety of knowing that they can't just turn up when they feel like it will be more important!
Thanks again! :)
Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: Andeza on November 03, 2019, 11:26:50 PM
Happy to help, I always seem to pick up random bits of knowledge here and there. And sometimes it's kinda useful to someone, haha!

There's nothing wrong in not having a house. Renting has its own benefits.
Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: JollyJazz on November 04, 2019, 02:18:04 AM
Hi Andeza,

Thanks for that! Where I live there is a huge cultural obsession with home ownership. I've had plenty of nasty PD comments about the fact I don't yet own a home. I haven't felt the need until recently though. I still want to keep it quiet though! Thanks for your help :) :) :)
Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: 1footouttadefog on December 09, 2019, 10:01:29 AM
Consider starting a coperation and buying the house in the corporations name. 

You could perhaps then rent it to your self and take some exoenses off your taxes.  A cpa or lawyer could advise on this

Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: NumbLotus on December 09, 2019, 10:40:06 AM
Real estate transactions are published in the paper and online where I live - address, buyer and seller names, transaction amounts, and mortgaging bank name (if any).

I'd find out pronto how to either avoid or mask that (eg an LLC or something to do the transaction under). (BTW, an LLC is cheap in most US states - like $50). Don't know what country you are in but you should look into this. It would be a shame to have your property found so easily.
Title: Re: My own home (that PD FOO doesn't know about)
Post by: JollyJazz on December 15, 2019, 06:28:38 PM
Hi 1footoutofthefog and Numblotus,
Thanks so much for these great ideas!
I'll look into the corporations!
I feel a little overwhelmed by the idea of buying something but I'm taking the first steps.
I can't wait to have that complete independence from my controlling FOO!