I read an article by Bethany Webster that is probably one of the best articles I have read on guidance regarding going non contact with a dysfunctional parent. She really "gets it" when the rest of society doesn't support or understand you. At the end of the article she talks about personal empowerment. She talks about how families will "pathologize" daughters for leaving their family of origin. I think the most important and empowering thing to remember is when Bethany reminds us that you can survive your mother's rejection of you. For me personally, the most painful hurdle to cross was realizing my mother and family literally didn't love me. I didn't think life could really go on with any joy in it. I started to put my self-esteem back together and then I began to realize I actually had a right to kind behavior and I had a right to set healthy boundaries without any guilt. It's really a great article that address most of the major issues in a thoughtful and intelligent way. :thumbup:
https://womboflight.com/navigating-no-contact-when-estrangement-from-your-mother-is-the-healthiest-choice
That's a great article! Thanks for posting.
It would be easier to recover, if someone else in the family stayed with us when we realize we have to end contact. But this article explains why that is so rare. A daughter who wants to grow, and grow up, is usually alone in her quest for freedom from the dysfunction. From the time I was born, my FOO members displayed such intense disconnection. Disconnected from their own inner lives and each other, and the cost of living in that environment was so high.
This article is really good at explaining to daughters, why we could not connect FOO members back to themselves. That is inner work that they would have to choose. I'm thinking of all the FOO who kept their relationships with the PDs instead of their "relationship" with me. It makes sense the way she explains why this happens the way that it does.
Trees
Thanks so much, very helpful. Got lost on the site for a while, good stuff.
I realized that for some reason this great article is not pulling up on the internet anymore. So for now I will just put the title down so maybe you can find it on your own. It's an article by Bethany Webster. The article is called: "Navigating No-Contact: When estrangement from your mother is your healthiest choice." Sorry it doesn't seem to be coming up on the internet anymore. It's such a helpful article.
Her blog - while sweeties is great
https://www.bethanywebster.com/blog/
Article link revised
https://www.bethanywebster.com/?p=488