I'm sending my proposal for the final divorce agreement. He's been harassing me daily to get it to him so he can move one and now my lawyer has everything so it's all written. I'm so nervous as to how he'll react. I think it's fair, but you know how PDs work. I've ruined his life by filing and am taking away everything that means something to him. Keeping my fingers crossed that he's willing to accept this and move on.
Good luck to you!
In a similar boat. The pro se agreement went through five drafts over the course of six months before she finally just said "Fuck you I'm taking you to court."
He's been harassing me constantly. Telling me he deserves everything and I'm horrible. That he thinks our marriage can be saved. I'm almost numb. Mediation MIGHT work. Who knows. That's tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can get something to agree to quickly. But...well, when you have a PD ego involved I'm not sure that is ever a possibility.
Add to all of this the COVID-19 anxiety and his OCPD, it's going to be quite the show.
Good Luck! I hope it goes well!!
Fingers crossed for you and your mediation.
It is going to be so wonderful for you to be past this!
Mediation went well and all we're waiting on now is the judge's stamp of approval. The hardest part was letting go of a few things that he just HAD to have. They are unimportant in the long run, but it felt like a last gut punch to me that he was pushing so hard on that. We'll be OK. I really believe it. Thank you all for the words of encouragement.
Oh Mitchy!!! I am so glad for you that this challenging bit is over!!
You are going to be so much better than OK!!
You are resilient and strong and smart. You are absolutely going to rock this next stage!
:drinks:
Michy
I promise those things he HAD to have, were wanted only to cause you pain. It will be better to create new memories with new things.
You did very well, and soon you will be free.
Ime, the pd doesnt really want to reconcile, it just wants to keep everything. They want to keep everything because THEY worked hard for it. The partner of course, has not contributed anything of value. That person is a posession. The partner is a pet that exists at the pleasure of the pd.
He will find a new pet.
You get a new life, and an invaluable learning experience :applause:
I gave up a few things to keep the peace. I was angry at the time but knew it wasn't worth the fight.
Now I'm just glad I didn't let it drag on. I look at those things as part of the price of my freedom.
I'm close to the end also. I've spent the last year reflecting and going to counseling and giving it my best. I tried for the past year and when my one year mark of quitting smoking hit and nothing changed I knew it was ok to give up and walk away. They will never see how it's always about them and what we do to them and how we make them feel. I've been through my grief, although there are times I get angry.
Now with the pandemic the time is even longer to leave. I told him over the weekend that I was not spending the rest of my life like this and he has been well aware of how things have been between us and that he was agreeable last year to us separating but I stayed.
I am not wasting another year of my life with him. What do they try to do to us in the end?
My heart goes out to everyone as this chaos is unfolding. Living with people that just quite aren't there adds even more stress to this pandemic. He is now playing the martyr role and is volunteering to keep going into work (thank you thank you and the jam on top is he works out of town 4 days in a row). His children begged him not to go as he has all three underlying conditions. He says he has new staff, needs to be a leader and rarely gets sick.
The weekend chaos got even worse when I told him that I am not longer going to live my life like this and because you cannot seem to understand how your behavior hurts me and you do it over and over again....it's my time now to walk away, (actually I wanted to say walk into the arms of someone that actually cares for me)....I got the same response as always, look at what you are doing as the wife...geeze...that never ends....
So now that you've basically abandoned me not only in our marriage, you've abandoned our family, put yourself at risk of getting sick and the rest of us (b/c this virus does not discriminate)....can I say '"GIVE UP NOW"
Gosh I feel so sorry for your kids. I hope you can be a rock for them. They must feel so anxious.
Quote from: Mitchy on March 12, 2020, 02:10:23 PM
That he thinks our marriage can be saved.
Whether it "can" be saved or not, who cares. He can't ultimately argue with the fact that
you don't want it to be saved.
That's the angle I'm going with with my w. "Even if I could fix it, I don't want a relationship with you anymore. I've moved on"
Much strength and courage to you!