Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Dealing with PD Parents => Topic started by: newjuncture on May 12, 2020, 08:44:26 PM

Title: Seeking out support from hotlines
Post by: newjuncture on May 12, 2020, 08:44:26 PM
Has anyone sought support by contacting any of the hotlines or phone support lines that are out there?  Emotional abuse seems to be overlooked sometimes because there aren't physical signs of abuse.  In fact, people can often remain invisible in their suffering even if they come forward.  I would be interested in learning how narcissistic injury or abuse is viewed and if it is taken seriously if someone called these hotlines and reached out for help; even simply for a listening ear, to obtain support service referrals through the community, or to get help with processes of going no contact/cease and desist letters, or help from lawyers.  It varies state by state; however there are both national and local hotlines for various forms of abuse and domestic violence. 
Title: Re: Seeking out support from hotlines
Post by: Ladymm on May 13, 2020, 03:06:23 AM
Newjuncture,

I didn't contact a hotline but once went for advice to an association for domestic abuse. I will tell you why I went, it is a personal decision and from my childhood - when I was in kindergarten and around 4 years old I moved with my parents to live alone in a village. Before that we were living together with my grandparents, and I spent a lot of time with also the gp I didn't live with which was a nice and loving environment. I don't even remember my parents were parents, I emotionally felt like they were just some irrelevant 20 and something children in my life. The gm I lived with was the big boss and my parents didn't cook or anything they were just there, she treated them as some children also. But then the moment cam and we moved. It was shocking, like someone kidnapped me and also the Stockholm syndrome was real - I was forced to like my kidnappers otherwise I would die (this is how the child's nervous system works). In kindergarten however I still had a strong personality and I was telling social workers that my parents were beating me, which wasn't true, but I think this was my cry for help. and the social worker called my mother, which said it wasn't true. It wasn't true, but my PD mother felt strong shame and went in narc mode.  She had a great PD idea (and she explained this to me proudly). She said that if I ever again complain or something the teacher can hit me (on the ass) like they used to do. And she did. I don't remember all exactly but I know that at one cut point I  stopped being the courageous child I was. No more social workers.

Sorry for the long post lol. However yes I somehow wanted to find safety from the said story in the fact that maybe now authorities will hear me. And I went to said association. The counsellor there was given the authorization from her boss that I van have 3 or 4 meetings. And it was really good, she listened to me. Also I felt the story from my childhood found closure.
The counsellor didn't deny my experience and she gave me a dose of courage and tried to help me find in me the motivation for pursuing more in life. So if you want to call hotlines for support, do so.

But my feeling is that therapy is key. Therapy takes ages I know, it is painful, and it costs but for now I think in most countries this is the situation. I don't think clinical psychology can heal emotional trauma, because in my case emdr and meditation were the best answer. I don't think you can get such therapy paid by the state. Talking therapy is good but it just scratches the surface. So it is unfair, because a lot of people have psychological problems from emotional trauma and you can't heal the symptoms only. I sometimes think an association should be created in every country for emotional abuse only. So people know where to seek help without shame.

And also children, like I was. The social workers, what can they do with emotional abuse? Can you take a child from their environment for this kind of abuse? No. I think even in courts emotional abuse is taken lightly.

I think hotlines are good for when you have a crisis, because sometimes no one understands the pain of a victim of emotional abuse. I think the support hotline workers will listen to you, I believe they are trained enough. Because abuse in essence is always abuse.

Good luck!