So I found out last Saturday the 16th that my mother plans on coming back to her ILF that is still on lockdown this coming Saturday (2 days from now). She will have to self-quarantine for 2 weeks. Ever since I found out, the weight on my shoulders has returned and I have had dreams about all the narcs in my life
A few days ago it was about my uNexH. I dreamed he had a gun and was chasing me trying to shoot to kill me. Then the next night another dream about him, though I can't remember exactly what (the first one was enough)
Then yesterday Bro6 tells the rest of the family in group chat that uNPDm is coming back and wow, did shit hit the fan. Everyone totally disagrees that she should come back until at least the quarantine is lifted here and at her ILF, but Bro6 wants to give her what she wants. In a personal phone convo between myself and Sis1, she said "if she gets Covid the oh well. Another consequence of her poor decision making". So after everyone except myself chiming (rope there has been dropped since I feel I don't get heard anyway) in on the group chat, I eventually go to bed.
Dreamed last night that I again was a teenager and she and I got into a hitting/screaming match.
Woke up feeling like I got hit by a Mack truck again. I finally confessed to my lovely DH this morning the dreams I had this week since finding out. I was in tears. I'm even forgoing my exercise session this morning, that's how bad I feel.
This whole thing brings out all the narc dreams.
I'm sorry. I don't think the trauma ever fully goes away. When the lockdown started I had very vivid violent dreams about my ex and my family.
I'm glad you have your DH to comfort and support you.
I'm sure your subconscious is yelling "danger danger".
So sorry this is going on! What a silly decision for your M to make, but you can't live her life for her.