Father's Day Weekend, my NPDH agreed to a divorce. He was very agreeable as to all the terms and allowing the kids & I to remain in our family home. I had a feeling he would change his mind so I jumped on it as fast as I could. Opened my own bank account, changed my direct deposit (he changed his too) and made an appointment with an attorney (she couldn't get me in until mid July). We had a family camping trip planned for last week with my extended family and he wanted to continue to go as planned and as a family. I figured he would be on his best behavior....because he never wants anyone to see his true dark self. So I agreed. First morning of the trip, I am in our trailer alone and see a missed call on his work phone....from the woman I suspect has been his side-chick for some time now. I've noticed texts from her before and he had made the excuse that he is setting her up with a friend of his. I confronted him, he of course said that it was her reaching out to him and he had no interest. Whatever. I know he is a liar. He spent the entire rest of the camping trip doing damage control - being super sweet & attentive, playing father of the year, etc. He told me numerous times over the weekend that I am the love of his life and of course, now, he doesn't want a divorce. I knew it.
Well, I figured my appointment with the attorney isn't until next week so the narcissist in him still had time to reappear. Sure enough. We were home all of about 6 hours when he began giving me the silent treatment. Texted me today calling me a whore and accusing me of having plans to sleep with someone today ....while AT WORK. lol I'm so over it. In a way, I'm scared to be alone. I've been with him since I was 15 years old. Married now for 17 years with two great kids. BUT I know I need to start putting myself first. I JUST CAN'T live like this anymore. I'm excited just thinking about finally being free to live my life with my kids in peace - no longer having to walk on eggshells in my own life.
You are to be commended in so many ways. You have seen his sweet side and his dark side. You have a lot of courage to move forward so that you can bring for yourself and for your children. Like a counselor friend of mine used to say, keep on keeping on.
Thank you for the kind words. :) It's been a long time coming.