Have you ever gotten to a point where you truly feel like the PD person no longer holds power over you?
I so badly want to be in that state. I feel like I've come a long way. I have started saying "no", but for each thing I say "no" to I over commit on something else. I had an ah-ha moment in therapy that my perception is still off on certain things. For example, I can fuss at the kids. But if hubby does, I flip. It is always yelling and I get very defensive. Really, he is probably using the same tone of voice I am. I'm just being sensitive. I feel good most of the time, but little things. Like that....Or a text message. Seeing my children have open relationships with us and thriving.
I see little victories. I drove through the old neighborhood and didn't feel anything. I didn't reply to the text message.
Sorry this is kinda all over. I just want to be free.
Sounds like you are taking steps in the right direction. Even baby steps count.
I too overreact to my DH when he does something that reminds me of my dysfunctional FOO or a bad incident in childhood.
Over time I've shared my FOO stories and how some innocent action on his part put me right in a bad memory. Not blaming him, just explaining. And sometimes just saying this stuff out loud takes away some of it's power.
That's very true. Acknowledge how the past shapes the present is important.
I get a text "haven't spoke to you in forever! Everything OK? Are you mad at me?" Um , I work full time. Last time I spoke to you (5 days ago), I told you I was still getting my bearings with remote teaching. I'm over it.