Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Dealing with PD Parents => Topic started by: desertpine on September 09, 2020, 03:02:58 PM

Title: NPD mother finds new source of fuel in BPD DIL?
Post by: desertpine on September 09, 2020, 03:02:58 PM
I've recently gone NC with my uNPD sister and low-contact with my uNPD mom. This has happened before and each time I have more revelations about my FOO. Two this morning - how my mom has tried to be friends since I was a kid. That would explain her jealousy and feelings of rejection when I'd hang out with people my own age. Actually I remember as a kid I secretly read part of her diary (I know, total boundary violation.)  I was maybe 8  at the time? She had written about how hard it was for her to understand me, that she just wanted to be friends  with me, how she was friends with my other siblings but not me. Of course, I felt like crap when I read that - full of shame for being a bad daughter. But now I see things differently - that trying to be friends with your children isn't ok.
And secondly, this time with going low-contact, she initiated it. That was a first that she suggested it. And this morning I realized that it could be because she has a new source for her fuel - my sister-in-law who is a low-functioning BPD. She has said to me that she liked the opportunity to mother her mother-less daughter-in-law.  I'm NC with my bro and sister-in-law, but am actually feeling grateful that someone else might be the source of fuel. The idea actually feels a bit freeing - like it could be a train wreck waiting to happen, but it isn't up to me to do anything about it. I really can walk away...
Title: Re: NPD mother finds new source of fuel in BPD DIL?
Post by: freedom77 on September 09, 2020, 07:56:50 PM
Definitely sounds like something that will not end well. You've always been free to walk away. No one owns us. Just feels like they do when we're encased in the  FOG. It's easier now that your mother's source of supply is being harvested elsewhere. Just do whatever work needs doing so you don't end up in her sights again as a means of fuel.