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The Other Sides of Us => Other Media Resources => Topic started by: guitarman on September 18, 2020, 09:32:55 AM

Title: Idiot Compassion
Post by: guitarman on September 18, 2020, 09:32:55 AM
Idiot Compassion

A link to a webpage about a quote from Pema Chödron that explains "idiot compassion" https://quotes.justdharma.com/idiot-compassion-pema-chodron/ (https://quotes.justdharma.com/idiot-compassion-pema-chodron/)

The quote is taken from her book called "The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times".
Title: Re: Idiot Compassion
Post by: treesgrowslowly on September 21, 2020, 09:56:08 AM
Thanks for posting that guitarman.

I think that it's codependent to give more compassion to someone than they are giving to us.

Our own desire to be compassionate is what entangles us a lot of the time.

In another part of that book I believe she talks about people getting their hooks into us. Once we are entangled, a lot of us believe that compassion will fix the situation. So we give more.  When in reality it is boundaries -saying enough -  that is needed after entanglement.

This language of 'idiot' compassion is sort of condescending. I think in her recordings you can see she uses this language to endear herself and sometimes it works. I guess she wants people to feel like its ok to feel like 'an idiot' at times.  But our lack of boundaries at a given time in our life was not because we were an idiot. It was because we didn't see that this other person was not what the said they were.