Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Friends, Neighbors, Acquaintances and Coworkers => Topic started by: I.Matter on February 21, 2021, 06:27:27 PM

Title: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: I.Matter on February 21, 2021, 06:27:27 PM
I started a new job a couple of weeks ago after a year of unemployment.   I'm in the learning stages of the role.  I've been an em-path and attracted PD co-workers in the past, they cling to me like lint and the result hasn't been good for me.   At the new role, I'm working with another new person who is so similar to the the clingy PD workers of my past.  Straight out the gate, she overshared and told me about all the meds that she's taking and all the drama surrounding her physical aliments.  She rings me on my cell and work DMs constantly :sadno:.   I stopped taking her calls or answering the DMs.   In our Zoom meetings, she copied everything that I said and it was like she was competing with me.  She is all over the place with her thoughts and goes from one subject to the next without taking a breathe.  I tune her out.   She groups us together like we are co-joined. She was going to mention me in an email to our supervisor about her pay.  I told her to take my name out of the email , it had nothing to do with me.   In another Zoom call, when I spoke she said "that my voice was worse then hers"..to the group!   :stars:  Such a weird thing to say in on a Zoom call with other co-workers and Directors.   Then she told the group that we got to know each other very well in 2 weeks and we raze each other all the time.   That's completely false!  I'm a very private person.  She is overbearing and too intense.   I think she's crazy.

 I want to be successful in this role and company.    Any suggestions are welcome and particularly with dealing with an oversharing and possible PD person.
Title: Re: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: Adria on February 22, 2021, 04:42:57 PM
Keep putting up strong boundaries. Keep everything strictly business. Don't share any part of your life with her. Hopefully, she will get the message and move onto the next. Check out Medium Chill in the Tool Box.
Title: Re: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: DistanceNotDefense on February 24, 2021, 01:27:50 PM
This really sucks l.Matter!

How did she get your cell? And how is she friends with you to DM with you?

When people want my number and I don't want to give it, I just politely change the subject. I don't accept friend requests or if I do I put them on the restricted list.

If it really bothers them just give them a strange look and change the subject. Around others this will probably make them seem really odd.

I agree with Adria don't share any personal info about yourself. Medium chill. Avoid being alone with them.
Title: Re: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: I.Matter on February 26, 2021, 08:29:30 PM
When I started the job, the Supervisor told us to buddy up and lean on one another with the processes although we were both new-he wanted us to learn from each other (blind leading the blind).   I shared my cell then.  I wish I hadn't.  Since that time, she has been taken off the project and not placed on another yet due to oversharing and just plain drama.   I feel relieved that I don't have to interact with her again.  Since all that happened,  I noticed that my peace of mind has vanished and I don't sleep well.   I've become down and stressed out.   Although she is no longer with the company, she constantly DMs me.   I've blocked her number on my cell for my sanity.   I am very private and rarely share anything about myself but I do give out my cell number which I'm stopping.

I went through a lot at last year and I was just finding some sort of stability by shying away from others and concentrating on myself.   Maybe I'm too nice or too agreeable.  Or I appear desperate, I don't know.   I've attracted this type of person or worse many times before.   I have to harden the target which is me.   
Title: Re: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: xredshoesx on February 27, 2021, 12:01:28 PM
uggh so she's already not at the job?   i think you did right by blocking her and think of this as a small victory on your journey- you felt she was off and took steps to make boundaries when you first got that gut feeling something was off. 
Title: Re: Oversharing PD co-worker
Post by: DistanceNotDefense on February 27, 2021, 07:12:15 PM
Whoah! I can't believe she's still latching onto you after she left the job. That's nuts.

I agree with red shoes. This is someone I would block completely. And if she was taken off the job you're definitely not the only one who thinks she's a bit much or over the top...