when growing up, thought only I was affected since SG
however, now realize Every sibling was affected
-one sibling married someone similar to PD - controlling, lies, & has yelled at all of us siblings
-GC has become a hoarder like PD parent
-other siblings became co-dependent, & didn't leave PD parent home until couple yrs ago
will never understand this as I couldn't wait to get out
do you think ALL your siblings were affected, also?
Yes.
All children of PD parents will be traumatised in their own individual ways.
PDs "split" their children unconsciously into good, bad or are just ignored. Neither has a good outcome.
Scapegoated "bad" often think the "good" child gets the love. But no child gets real unconditional love.
A parent cant be a parent if they are emotionally still three year olds. Basically a child is raising a child.
"Understanding the Borderline Mother" by Christine Lawson explains this very well
thanks for your reply Hazy!
while reading reviews of the book, one person stated they learned from this article, also:
https://sharischreiber.com/the-borderline-personality-client/
you're right that as SG it seemed GC got all the love
however, GC once said as an adult "they were NOT the favorite child" which I was shocked to hear
PD parent helped them go to a private college, helped their kids go to private school & spent SO much on their wedding even bragging how GC 's flowers were the same as some famous person!
yet when I married, PD parent was making my fiance pay for more & more plus groom expenses
he didn't understand what was going on!
You are usually all damaged in a variety of different ways.
The most common damage is via reduced self-esteem from what I have observed. Dysfunctional parents tend to be highly destructive when it comes to their impact on their childrens self-esteem. This tends to hit the GC, SC, and the ignored in different ways.
Jolie40, Sharischreiber is very good on Borderlines. I used to follow her on Twitter, then i realised why she was very good on Borderlines :sly:
Only the oldest sibling is really a functional adult without any serious mental health problems. The other three have serious mental health, personality and addiction issues. I believe that the younger siblings likely compounded the issues with the PD parents which is why the oldest is the most functional now.
The invisible child has strong schizoid tendencies. The golden child has strong narcissistic tendencies and ended up worse than the PD parents. Scapegoat is a diagnosed schizotypal PD / schizoaffective with schizoid traits.