Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Co-parenting and Secondary Relationships => Topic started by: Christy22 on April 17, 2021, 10:02:27 AM

Title: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Christy22 on April 17, 2021, 10:02:27 AM
The transcripts from court have come back, and BM has now named me and where I work (I haven't been named until now). She also had to name her BF (the married one)...She said they are "done" and blamed DS for breaking them up and is upset that married man did not want to work on the relationship and become a family with her and DS.

She said she is afraid of me because she has "inside scoop" about me and has loads of "evidence" on me, but cannot bring it forward to the court because I will "go after her."
Lawyer asked if she meant the "evidence" that I am taking drugs from patients and have no proof.  She yelled, "I have proof!!!!"  She was then court ordered to bring the proof in 10 day (Never did). 

Lawyer said, "You just don't like her!" She answered she doesn't know if she likes me and blamed BF for not introducing us (BF did not as he was afraid because she broke up his relationship with the woman before me) and said she does not like my choices in life.  When BF lawyer asked her to elaborate, her lawyer stopped the questioning (He must of thought she was putting her foot in her mouth, but I don't know).....

She also said that she has discussed her fear of me with DS in the court-ordered therapy and how they are both in fear of me.  Therapist has stopped therapy with BF as he said he doesn't have the moral compass to continue therapy with an abuser who chooses transients in his life over his DS.  Transient? I am a nurse, you work at the Gap.  She also said in court that BF's best friend has been throwing him under the bus telling her everything about our every move (He works in the same mall as her).  BF is angry and wants him subpoenaed.

I told BF that I feel bad that he may never see DS because of me, and I may never have a relationship again with DS ever again.  BF was positive and said DS will need to understand what I am his GF and nothing is going to change. There was another court hearing after this hearing.  We are waiting for that transcript...

(I am not sure if I posted this recently, but she is now saying that I am stealing drugs from my patients at work)  Totally false!!!!
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Penny Lane on April 20, 2021, 08:33:57 AM
 :bighug:

This all sounds like a real mess. I'm sorry you're dealing with it. How are you feeling about this all?
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: athene1399 on April 20, 2021, 11:53:14 AM
I am so Sorry this has been going on, Christy. This sounds incredibly stressful! I know I say this to everyone, but self care is important. Do not let her BS take up too much space in your head. I used to worry about what stunt BM would pull next. I eventually set limits on how long I would spend worrying so that I wasn't worrying all day. You unfortunately cannot control what she is saying. I think it's great that the L keeps asking her to provide evidence because it is clear she doesn't have any. Also, try not to blame yourself for the situation. Only BM can control how she acts and that is on her, not you. If you were not in the picture, she may be doing the same thing anyway.  Just focus on what you can control and what you can make better in regards to you situation, like you can support your BF and take breaks for self-care.
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Christy22 on April 21, 2021, 05:58:50 AM
Thank you.  BM showed up at court yet had no evidence about my patients, but has somehow had access to BF's iCloud.  She showed up at court with stacks of text messages from me and BF from day one.  There were pics of me, my kids, coworkers and much more.  She even highlighted a text from three years ago where he told me he is the happiest he has ever been and how he was miserable when he was with her (I never replied to him in that thread).  she has been reading ALL of our texts from the moment I meant him...

I already spoke to the sheriff who said this "It's not hacking. It was in the cloud and all in the sons IPad. She didn't stalk you. But she should have told BF right away. The fact that she didn't, exposed the son to stuff he shouldn't have seen. That is abuse."   BF's lawyer is useless (In regards to me) saying I have no recourse and to "let it go" and "let sleeping dogs lie" 



Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Christy22 on April 21, 2021, 02:22:17 PM
I went to the city police day where i work.  They said we can press three seperate charges PLUS get an order against her.  I am going to my attorney today. 
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: athene1399 on April 21, 2021, 02:43:22 PM
I am so sorry, Christy. What an invasion of your privacy. How are you doing after finding this out?
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Penny Lane on April 21, 2021, 02:58:45 PM
Yeah this is a HUGE violation and I hope your BF is as concerned as you are! I'm surprised her lawyer let her bring this "evidence" in - it seems like this will make her look bad, not you. But your BF needs to remove her access to his account immediately, and probably should change all his passwords to something she will never guess.
Title: Re: Update BF's XW court
Post by: Christy22 on April 22, 2021, 06:15:48 AM
Thanks for the replies...He changed his password and her lawyer called his lawyer demanding the password.  They said it was so their son could play games on the Ipad.  His lawyer told hers to pound sand!!!!  I'm not too upset about it.  I think she did this to break us up as she told the lawyer that once I found out what she knows about me that I was going to dump BF.  We did nothing wrong and she is proving to everyone that she is unfit.  We were told by his lawyer that she is "hanging herself."

She rolls her eyes at the judge at the hearings!! Can you believe that?  Nevermind that my BF has an email from her way back when that she didn't want their son anymore and wanted to move away with her married boyfriend.  AND NOW YOU WANT FULL CUSTODY? TILL WHEN? WHEN ANOTHER MAN COMES YOUR WAY?

I am 100% positive that she has been going through his Icloud account way before he met me.  BF is now realizing things and told me how she knew things about his ex girlfriend that he thought their son told her.  The police said that each time she opened his Icloud  is a count, meaning if she broke into it 100 times it is now 100 counts of the violation.   I bet it's WAAAAAAAYYYYY up there.